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In 2023, my family went to Portugal and we got there on a Sunday. Upon getting to our home, we had to change clothes and find a church for Mass. We were tired, hungry, but it was getting late and we were running out of time to find a church. We winded through the streets trying to find the church my husband had located, but the GPS was working right. We never found that church. But then, we ended up at the St. Anthony’s Church built on the site where his home once was and Mass was just starting. We sat in the very back in the dark, warm, and richly colored church and I saw my family struggling to stay awake, especially during the lengthy homily in Portuguese. My son fell asleep on my lap. There was a time in my life when I wouldn’t have even thought twice about passing up Mass for food and rest. I have realized, though, that these are the times when I can greatly show my love for God—when it’s not necessarily convenient to get to Mass. As I sat on that back bench in the dark, rubbing my son’s head, I was happy that we made the effort to come. All for love of God. Have a blessed weekend, Catholic Pilgrims. St. Anthony of Padua, pray for us!
Each morning, I get up to pray and write. It just so happens that sometimes my adult daughters will call or FaceTime me at this time. They know it’s probably safe to call after 5:30am, because they know Mom will be up. Like this morning, I was listening to my Sacred Heart Retreat and my oldest called. I answered and she was bubbling over with good news. We chatted and then she had to go. After we hung up, I thought to myself, “I’m so happy my kids call me. Even if it’s just for a moment to pop in and share a quick bit of news.” What I’m even more happy about is that they know I will always answer. Unless I simply can’t, they can interrupt me at anytime. This got me thinking about God and how we can always, always come to Him to talk. Because I am human, there are times when I can’t take my kids’ calls. I can be interrupted from something, but God can never be interrupted. We often think that we have to have a long prayer session in order for our prayers to be worthwhile, but that’s not true. Sometimes, I get long phone calls with my kids which I love. But, sometimes, I get just a minute or two and I love that, too. We can check in with God at anytime. No matter what. He is always waiting and He is delighted when we check in with Him. To the best of my ability, I try to let my children know that I am available or I will do my best to be available. With God, we never have to wonder—He is always available to us. Live the Faith boldly and travel well, Catholic Pilgrims.
Last week, my son and I went into town to do some errands. My daughter over at Mustard Seed Shop created a downloadable summer activities list for people, so after our errands, we went to complete one of the activities. It was to go to a coffee shop and write someone a letter. As we walked into the shop, I noticed there was a man waiting on food that appeared to be homeless. He was very smiley and polite to the workers. He got his sandwich and cup of water and went to sit down. My son and I ordered our drinks and found a place to write our letters. We weren't sitting too far from the smiley guy and when I looked his way, we caught eyes and we both smiled at each other. There are some people in this world that when you look at them, you can totally see what they looked like as a little kid. He was one of those people. As we were writing our letters, I noticed that my son kept looking at him. I could tell that he was really taking him in, not in a negative way, but just trying to understand maybe how someone could come to that point. Since the smiley guy couldn't see him looking at him, I let my son be to ponder things. When it was time for him to leave, he very intently cleaned up his table and even went so far as to wipe it off, cleaning off all the crumbs. He packed up his backpack and left. My son and I finished up our letter writing and went to go get into the car. My son said, "Why did he act that way?" He was referring to how the man talked to himself. "Well, Honey, he may have a mental illness. Long use of drugs can make you act that way, too. Or it could be both things. I don't know for sure. Then he said, "Well, I'm pretty sure he has a good heart." "Do you say that because he cleaned up his space so neatly?" "No, because he prayed before he ate his food." "You know, Buddy, it's hard to know a person's story and what led them to the place they are now. Some people grow up not being loved well. Others get in with the wrong crowd and a lot of people have something really bad happen in their lives that they don't know how to handle. It's sad that there are a lot of hurting people out there and when I see them, I often ask in my head, 'Who didn't love you well?' But, what I am really happy about is that both you and me saw goodness in him and we can pray for him." Love those around you well, Catholic Pilgrims. Have a beautiful Wednesday.
So, last week, I made a post about a dinner conversation I had with my husband about the desires of men and women. To date, it's probably the most popular post I have ever written and the comments were overwhelmingly positive and supportive. All was going good. But, I have learned over the years that it just takes awhile for the naysayers to show up. If I write about the joys of children, I just have to give it a few hot seconds before the anti-kid crowd descends. If I write about marriage and give the subtle whiff of an argument for the differences between men and women, well, it won't be long before I'm lectured about "social constructs" and how I'm "sending us back to the dark ages." To be sure, people are allowed to be naysayers and I'm not saying that people can't disagree with me. Just fair warning, it may end up as social media fodder. 🙂 I never made any mention in that post about whether women should work or not, or about economics, or about chores. I simply talked about how most women desire men to be providers and protectors and my husband shared that men desire women to be the heart of the home. It's not super controversial stuff...until it is. To some ears, this always comes out translated as: WOMEN MUST ONLY BE STAY-AT-HOME-MOMS AND COOK DINNER EVERY NIGHT ON TIME AND DARN SOCKS AND WHISK AROUND EACH ROOM IN A CINDERELLA FASHION WHILE BRINGING A COLD BREWSIE TO THE HUBS AND CRACKING IT OPEN FOR HIM! I've never even come close to remotely saying anything like this. One lady's comment, though, just baffled me. She said, "Hmmm thought it was about following Christ. Jesus wasn’t a 'provider'." Her point, if I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, was that what women and men should both desire in a partner someone who follows Christ. Absolutely true. 100% agree. However, if she would have correctly read my conversation with my husband, I said, "What UNIQUE thing do men desire of women that men really don't bring to the table?" Unique was the key word. BOTH men and women desire love, respect, companionship. And, yes, I think it would be great if both desire a faithful Jesus follower. The triggering word for her was "provider." And in the process of taking offense to that word being applied to men, she declared that Jesus "wasn't a provider." Which is just an insane thing to say. Now, to give her the benefit of the doubt again, she was probably trying to say that Jesus wasn't a husband and a father. Correct. But, Jesus didn't come here to get married and be desirable to women as a potential catch. I was talking about what most women want in a marriage partner...and kids want in a father, too. But still, of course--OF COURSE--Jesus was a provider and still is. Before His earthly ministry does this lady think that from, say, ages 15 to 30, Jesus just sat around at home doing nothing? He didn't provide for the family at all? At all???? On the Cross, He provided for His Mother's care by placing her into the hands of St. John. He provides us with grace, love, salvation, and literally Himself in Holy Communion. He is the greatest provider of all time. Why? Because He is God. We must always be careful, Catholic Pilgrims, to not let modern-day political ideologies be the leading thoughts in our minds. Better to be grateful and rejoice in things that are good, true, and beautiful. Live the faith boldly and travel well.
Because of the nature of the military life, I had my own private Confirmation Mass. Moving always throws a kink in things, and I had to be given a dispensation to be confirmed by my priest instead of the ordinary minister, the bishop. So, with my immediate family and a few of my friends, I was confirmed into the Catholic Church in late September in 2009. After my Confirmation, I felt insanely alive. I was a bit like Buddy the Elf when he yells out with a huge smile on his face, "I'm in love, I'm in love! And I don't care who knows it!" Or like a baby who has finally learned to walk but wants to give running a try. Though they are still trying to figure out the walking thing, the freedom it provides makes them want to run. In a word, I was ignited by the down-pouring of the Holy Spirit upon me. I wanted to do everything: Read every Catholic religious book, evangelize everyone, see every church, become a scholar, an apologist, read the Bible constantly. The Holy Spirit is often depicted as fire and it does make sense why He is. One day, in the infancy of my confirmation, I picked up "The Summa," read about two pages and gently laid it down. "Maybe later." It was at that moment that I realized I needed to slow down just a tad. It took awhile, but I had to learn that I couldn't do it all and that I needed a good period of forming before I could see what God needed me to do. I needed to understand my gifts and see where I could best apply them. Am I still on fire? Yes. Where I once was like a ball of fire, raging hot and full of energy, now I am like a steady burn. The Holy Spirit has helped me to recognize my gifts and focus on areas where I can be most effective. Today, we end the Easter Season with the great Feast of Pentecost. When the Holy Spirit came as a rush of wind all those centuries ago, the world was set on fire. You and I are Catholic today because of that spark that ignited the Apostles. Have a beautiful and blessed Pentecost, Catholic Pilgrims. *Church is the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis, St. Louis, Missouri
One of the oddest things to me is when someone shows up to disagree with Catholicism and says something like the guy from yesterday: "Jesus didn't institute the sacrament of marriage or ordain priests." Okay. (Sigh) This is the equivalent of a neighborhood kid running into a crowd of other kids and throwing a water balloon hoping to really upset them. Yeah, it might be annoying, but who cares? These kinds of declarative comments used to really get me upset, but now, I simply ask if they want to hear a Catholic response to their statement and if they don't, well, "Have a nice day." I have found people who make these kinds of comments, don't even know what Catholics mean when we say something is a Sacrament. I'd love to educate them, but rarely do they take me up on the offer to hear what it is and why we believe Jesus instituted it. But in case anyone is wondering: "A Sacrament is an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace." Baltimore Catechism for the win! The other thing that is curious to me is that people are constantly trying to find ways to downplay the power of Jesus. "No, He didn't do this." "No, He wouldn't do that." "No. NO. NOOOOOOO. NO, GRACE, OKAY! Just NO!" Jesus is always looking for ways to give us grace and it just so happens that He loves to do it at some of the most important moments of our lives. Our Baptism Our First Confession Receiving Jesus in the Holy Eucharist Being Confirmed in the Faith Getting Married Becoming a Priest When we are near death and/or are extremely sick. All of these events in our lives are opportunities for God to infuse us with grace. They also happen to be areas where we need grace to live out that Sacrament well. Marriage needs lots of grace. Being a priest needs lots of grace. Being a child of God requires lots of grace. When your earthly life may end, you need lots of grace. We are truly blessed to have the seven Sacraments, Catholic Pilgrims. May we never try to limit the ability to God to give us grace. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Thursday.
At dinner last night, I said to my husband, "Most women throughout human history have wanted a man who is a good protector and provider. Unless a woman is a raging-hot feminist, this is truly what women want from a man. It's unique to men. Both men and women want companionship, respect, love, and those universal things, but being a provider and protector are two unique things that women want from men. You're never going to hear a man say, 'I really want a woman who can provide and protect.' So, is there one word that defines what men want from women?" Very quick to answer, he said, "Well, there isn't one word that I can think of that sums it up, but men want women to be the heart. Only women can uniquely provide that in a relationship and a family. Women provide a warmth that a man just isn't equipped to give." My son piped in and said, "Moms make a home a place where you can relax." My husband agreed, "Yes, women make a place enjoyable to be in. All women have this ability and are capable of doing it, it's just that society has told so many that it's not important, but it is. No woman has ever said, 'I want a man to be the warmth and heart of a family,' and the reason is, is because women bring that to the table." I asked, "But, as a man, do you really notice all the decorations and things we do to a home?" "Men may not notice every little detail, but we notice the feeling it creates." He continued: "It all boils down to this: Women want men to provide the things and protect the family and the home. Men want women to take what they provide and protect and make it beautiful." Men, don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for desiring these things. Women, don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for desiring these things. They are good and wonderful things to desire and it creates a harmony in the family that can't be duplicated in any other way. Have a blessed day, Catholic Pilgrims.
I was listening to a "Pints with Aquinas" episode the other day with Dr. John Bergsma as the guest. He said something truly profound, at least to me. "What they (Protestants) find uncomfortable about the Catholic Church is that the Church does things that they would reserve to Jesus. And I think that's the crux of it. And what they're objecting to is that the Church acts like Mrs. Jesus. It would be like, you know, my wife walks into the bank and cashes a check and the bank says, 'You can't do that. You're not John Bergsma.' But, wait, if she's really Mrs. Bergsma, she absolutely can. And if the Church is really Mrs. Jesus, then she absolutely can write checks on Jesus' account. She can act in persona Christi." When I heard Dr. Bergsma say this, I thought, "That is so true! That's the crux of everything I objected to when I was Protestant." When I'd argue with my husband about confession, the pope, priests, all that, I was upset because I didn't see the Church as the bride of Christ. When my husband was deployed, I had to act in his name several times. I could do this because I am his bride--his wife. We are one. Christ is not walking around on earth anymore. He's fully present in the Eucharist, but not in the same way that He was physically present to the Apostles. He gave us the Church--His Bride--to act in His name. If you take marriage seriously and see it as a true Sacrament, you will be in awe of the oneness of the married couple. Most people that know me well would tell you that they can't think about me without thinking about Dustin. In our culture's quest to water-down marriage into nothing more than a legal contract or to make marriage just whatever configuration anybody comes up, we've lost the idea of the oneness. Jesus is the Bridegroom, the Catholic Church--not a building, but the Body of Christ--is His Bride. We need the Church to administer the Sacraments using the correct matter and form, we need the Church to guide us to the Truth as new issues emerge through the ages, and we need her to dispense blessings on us from her treasury all in the name of Jesus. Have a blessed Tuesday, Catholic Pilgrims.
I've moved 11 times in 23 years as a military spouse. That's an average of moving nearly every two years, which is nuts. As we finish cleaning the house we are leaving, I always walk one more time through the house by myself. I want to cement in my mind that home, the memories made there, and what I've learned from that particular place. There is always a sting of sadness as that chapter closes and a bit of uncertainty as we head to the next duty station. At the closing of the door, there's a weird period of time between the old place and new place. All your earthly stuff is gone on a moving truck, your car is loaded down with plants, animals, treasures that you don't want the movers to touch, cleaning supplies, and all your suitcases. You essentially are a vagabond now. The feelings are weird, too. Part of you grieves for what you leave behind and then part of you is excited for the next adventure. Everything feels a bit out of sorts. Some chapters are easy to close, but some are hard. Vegas was an easy chapter for me to close, leaving Turkey was hard. I imagine the Apostles and disciples felt like this at the Ascension of Our Lord. The chapter of their time with Jesus on this earth was being closed and there was the in-between time of waiting for the next chapter to begin. Oftentimes, we don't know what to do with ourselves in the in-between time. We feel a bit lost, lonely, unsure, and melancholy. What we must do is just keep moving forward until it all works itself out. The Ascension marks a closing of a chapter, but a new one is about to begin at Pentecost. It is then that the world is set on fire and the new mission begins--to bring the Gospel to the whole world. We are still a part of that mission, Catholic Pilgrims. It will be this way until the Second Coming. Then a new chapter will begin, but until then, live the Faith boldly and travel well.
I watched a video the other day of an adult daughter interviewing her mom and her aunt. The adult daughter was probably my age. It was a Mother’s Day video and she was asking them about their favorite parts of motherhood. They had not one positive answer. Their favorite part of motherhood was when their kids left the house. They wished they didn’t have as many kids as they did. It was all negative. The daughter looked a bit shocked by some of the answers. I’d sure be hurt if I heard my mom say such things. Anyway, it had tens of thousands of views and thousands of comments, but I couldn’t find one comment that was disturbed by the mom’s and aunt’s responses. There was praise all around. A few comments: “I love my kids to death but if I had to do it all over again, I’d just be the rich aunty.” “Can you love your kids and hate motherhood?” “Waiting for the day my kids leave.” I’ve been a mother for 24 years now and I’ve been through every stage for kids to go through. Parenting is not easy and not everyday is a walk in the park. But, you cannot love someone if you wish they were never born or you wish them gone. And you are not brave or noble if you voice that about your kids. It’s one thing to be excited for your kids to fly the nest and watch them go out into the world. It’s a different thing to count down the days until they’re gone. Imagine if a father said he hated fatherhood. We would not be praising his “brave honesty.” We would say he was a bad dad and feel sorry for his kids. But, we have allowed moms to voice these horrific things about their kids and praise it in the name of “just being real.” No, what is real is the levels of selfishness on display for far too many. Love is not selfish. Love does not seek to be away from the one you love. Love is enduring. I have loved every stage of my kids’ lives. Motherhood is challenging, of course. But, I also have three beautiful souls to share life with and watch grow into unique individuals. I get to be their mom. What an honor. Live the Faith boldly and travel well, Catholic Pilgrims.
We all know the book, "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe," but have you ever read "The Magician's Nephew?" It's the first book in the series and it tells you how Narnia came to be. My family is reading it together in the evenings right now and there are parts that are very similar to the Genesis creation story. For example, Aslan sings things into existence. Once Aslan is finished, he calls animals from the earth and ends up talking to them. Two children- Digory and Polly--and a cabby can hear Aslan and the other animals speak. They have no fear and Digory wants to talk to Aslan. Another person in the newly-formed Narnia is Uncle Andrew, Digory's uncle. He is a selfish, shameful man and he can't hear Aslan talk or sing. To him, Aslan sounds like he is roaring, which consequently makes him afraid of Aslan. Uncle Andrew sees him as a violent beast set on devouring him. When you come at the Bible without love or a desire to understand God, all you will "hear" or read is an angry God. If someone comes to the Bible simply to find ways to attack Christians or prove Christianity wrong, the Bible will only "roar" at you. The Salvation story will be utterly missed and all will be like clanging gongs. Digory and Polly are able to hear Aslan because they are not hardened by prejudice to goodness and truth, as Uncle Andrew is. Therefore, they have eyes and ears that see more of the fullness of who Aslan is and what they see is not threatening or disagreeable. Grace is what is needed to understand God more and more, Catholic Pilgrims. Grace and love. Without these, all you will hear are roars. Have a blessed Thursday.
The Holy Spirit cannot give different people different truths. Years ago, my husband and I were speaking with someone who is Protestant and my husband asked the person, "How do you know that your interpretation of Scripture is correct?" "The Holy Spirit tells me." "But, see, you and I disagree on what it says. I would say that my interpretation was guided by the Holy Spirit, too, but we can't both be right then. How do you know you are right?" "I just do." This isn't a good answer. There are numerous beliefs as to what Baptism is and what it does. The Holy Spirit cannot and will not guide people to different conclusions when it comes to matters of the Faith. Either one person is wrong, the other is, all are wrong, or one is right. What stands out to you in Scripture, what speaks to your soul a particular day, what moves you to contemplation, these are all things that the Holy Spirit can guide you to that may be different from one person to the next. But on what is the Truth of morality, doctrine, and interpretation of Scripture, these are not open to everyone having their own truth or the Holy Spirit sending mixed messages. Christ built one Church--He did not intend for numerous churches that believe different things. That is contrary to the what Jesus taught and what makes sense. He built ONE church upon the rock of Peter and He promised the gates of Hell would not prevail against it. He did not leave us to just figure it out the Faith on our own. No, He sent the Holy Spirit to guide, instruct, and protect His Church. Individual interpretation is dangerous and has led to numerous denominations and confusion, Catholic Pilgrims. There has to be an entity that is guided by the Advocate and it is always wise to start at the beginning and look to who has Apostolic succession. The Catholic Church has the fullness of truth and that is how we are assured of what is right when it comes to issues of morality, doctrine and Scriptural interpretation. It's not because I say so, it's because Christ's Church says so. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Wednesday.
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