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I was watching a video the other day of a young woman who had purposefully made herself blind.
She said she felt like she was meant to be “born blind.” And so, through some method, she made herself that way.
Now, obviously and sadly, this person has something wrong mentally. Nobody with a healthy mind destroys their vision. But, she was functioning enough to be able to make the tv rounds and move about in the world.
I think her decision to maim herself speaks to a bigger problem in our culture and that problem is the glorification of victimhood.
Now, I’m not denying that there are real and true victims of crime, prejudice, and persecution out there. But there used to be a time when, as a society, we didn’t seek to be victims.
In a world, though, where people get noticed and given attention based off of how many victims cards they can lay on the table, it’s no wonder we have people trying to make themselves into victims.
When I was counseling victims of domestic and sexual violence, perhaps one of the most frustrating things to me was the unwillingness of my clients to let go of their status of victim. True, they needed to acknowledge it, but then the goal should be to move past that—to not let it hinder or define you.
Victimhood allows you to place your failures and faults at other people’s feet; you don’t have to take ownership of anything because…well…this bad thing happened. You receive pity, attention, and, oftentimes, a safety blanket that covers you from criticism.
These are all “perks” and so people have begun to try to one up each other to be seen as the bigger victim.
When your identity is rooted in your victim status, you cannot thrive. When your identity is rooted in the fact that you are a child of God, you can—even through hardships and sufferings. Christ was the ultimate victim, the slaughtered lamb who was mocked, beaten, and killed, yet He bore it and then He conquered death and destruction.
We are all victims of something. We can choose to wallow in our victimhood, Catholic Pilgrims, or we can unite our suffering to Christ’s and let God use it for redemptive and purifying purposes.
Live the Faith boldly and travel well.
ITALY PILGRIMAGE
‘Journey with the Saints’
OCTOBER 23-31, 2023
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On a friend's page a few weeks back, I saw a post that talked about not buying into consumerism during Christmas. (pun intended) Cool, cool. I'm with you. But, then it said, "For Christmas, just have a family meal and call it a day." And with that, my eyebrow raised in annoyance. The post was no longer cool to me. I understand the desire to not do the consumerism thing during Christmas. Too much emphasis is placed on truck-loads of presents, buying this, that, and everything. Christmas is not the Season of Buying. Or rather, I should say, Advent is not the Season of Buying. Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with buying gifts. I love finding meaningful, special gifts for people. The emphasis being on presents and things is the problem. But, nowhere in that post was the name of Christ brought up. Christmas isn't about family meals, presents, cookies, travel, parties or even Santa. My dad wrote me the other day and said, "You know something that drives me nuts? When people start talking about getting together with family and friends, decorations, Christmas trees, and presents and someone will say, 'Well, that's what Christmas is all about.' It's sad that it took Linus from 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' to get it right." Jesus. Jesus is Who the Advent and Christmas Seasons are all about. The post could have said, "Don't buy into consumerism this Christmas Season. Get your family and go to Church for Christmas and celebrate Our Savior being born. That's what it's all about." Church is free. Preparing for the coming of Christmas is free. Worshipping Our Savior is free. None of the other stuff is bad, Catholic Pilgrims. But, let's not just refrain from buying stuff, then just have a dinner, and call it a day. Let's lean into our Advent Season as it prepares us for the coming of Christ at Christmas and call it a well-lived season. Live the faith boldly and travel well this Monday.
Continue ReadingWhen I was a kid growing up in the 80s, my dad was a master of filling waiting time. Since my parents only had one car, we would have to go pick my mom up from work once he got out of class at K-State. We'd sit there outside her work waiting on her to come out. It could have been a boring time, but it never was with my dad. We'd make up silly songs, play made-up games, watch the people who were coming out of the building, etc. Those times of waiting with my dad are some of my most memorable. I didn't have a tablet or a phone to occupy me. My dad didn't make me sit there and be quiet, but instead, he showed me what you could do with waiting--you could notice the world around you. Consequently, I took what my dad taught me and did the same things with my kids. Advent is a time of waiting and nearly everyone hates to wait. People rush from one holiday to the next, never waiting or embracing the moment. Our lives feel overly busy because we either try to avoid waiting for anything or we try to numb ourselves during the waiting. But, I think what my dad taught me during those times sitting outside Bluemont Hall on the campus of KSU is the right approach. Look up, take everything in, and enjoy the moment. It's so tempting to just rush to Christmas after Halloween is over. Advent reminds us to slow down, look around, enjoy the moment before the expected day, and soak in the little things. Have a blessed first Sunday of Advent, Catholic Pilgrims.
Continue ReadingBack when we were living in Turkey, we discovered that our 15-year old daughter had scoliosis. It needed a corrective operation and, to make a long story short, we found an amazing doctor in Istanbul. The operation was 11-hours long which was utter torture for my husband and me. When it was over, she had a long road to recovery. After 10-days in the hospital, we finally got to bring her home, but she was very uncomfortable--mostly she could only sit. Lying on her side was impossible. Her lungs were weak and everything hurt. At night, she would get tired of lying on her back and would want to move out to the recliner in the living room. She couldn't help herself, and so I told her to call for me in the night and I would come get her and help. Because her lungs were weak and her torso hurt, she couldn't call very loudly, but no matter what, I always heard her weak voice call out, "Momma?" I could be dead asleep and I never failed to hear her and get up. I'd go to her room, help her up, walk her to the living room, and get her settled in the recliner. When her dad would get home from work, he would take her for a walk around the large 6th floor patio area of our apartment building. Slowly, slowly she would walk in circles, hanging onto her dad's arm, getting stronger with each lap. Today, she is wonderfully healed and healthy. I was thinking about this yesterday. My daughter calling out to me in the night reminds me of how we can call out to Our Blessed Mother for help, prayers, and love. She will always hear us no matter how weakly we call out. A mother always hears the voice of her children when they need her. My husband's actions reminds me of the Father's love--there to give strength and encouragement through difficulties. Always knowing that we are capable of more than we think we are. The love of God always heals us if we trust Him with our pain. We are so blessed, so very blessed, Catholic Pilgrims, to be so loved and wanted by God. We are also blessed that He gives us such a beautiful Mother to call on, as well. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Monday.
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