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I was watching a video the other day of a young woman who had purposefully made herself blind.
She said she felt like she was meant to be “born blind.” And so, through some method, she made herself that way.
Now, obviously and sadly, this person has something wrong mentally. Nobody with a healthy mind destroys their vision. But, she was functioning enough to be able to make the tv rounds and move about in the world.
I think her decision to maim herself speaks to a bigger problem in our culture and that problem is the glorification of victimhood.
Now, I’m not denying that there are real and true victims of crime, prejudice, and persecution out there. But there used to be a time when, as a society, we didn’t seek to be victims.
In a world, though, where people get noticed and given attention based off of how many victims cards they can lay on the table, it’s no wonder we have people trying to make themselves into victims.
When I was counseling victims of domestic and sexual violence, perhaps one of the most frustrating things to me was the unwillingness of my clients to let go of their status of victim. True, they needed to acknowledge it, but then the goal should be to move past that—to not let it hinder or define you.
Victimhood allows you to place your failures and faults at other people’s feet; you don’t have to take ownership of anything because…well…this bad thing happened. You receive pity, attention, and, oftentimes, a safety blanket that covers you from criticism.
These are all “perks” and so people have begun to try to one up each other to be seen as the bigger victim.
When your identity is rooted in your victim status, you cannot thrive. When your identity is rooted in the fact that you are a child of God, you can—even through hardships and sufferings. Christ was the ultimate victim, the slaughtered lamb who was mocked, beaten, and killed, yet He bore it and then He conquered death and destruction.
We are all victims of something. We can choose to wallow in our victimhood, Catholic Pilgrims, or we can unite our suffering to Christ’s and let God use it for redemptive and purifying purposes.
Live the Faith boldly and travel well.
ITALY PILGRIMAGE
‘Journey with the Saints’
OCTOBER 23-31, 2023
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After reading the letters of St. Frances Cabrini for Season Five of my "Journeying with the Saints" podcast, my admiration for the woman grew a hundredfold. When you dive in intimately to someone's thoughts, you start to understand who they were/are and get a sense for their personality. When we read the works of the Saints, they become more than just faces on prayer cards. They truly do become friends. The three biggest things I learned from her are: Obedience--If you aren't obedient to Christ and His Church, you are just playing around with the label Christian. Mother Cabrini wanted to go to the east to serve as a missionary, but Pope Leo XIII needed her in the west. She didn't throw a fit or ignore the pope. No, she went where she was most needed. And, she didn't go to the west and do a half-hearted job even though it wasn't her immediate desire. She went and gave her all. Perseverance--She never gave up. In fact, she didn't trust a mission calling if it wasn't "sealed with a cross." She knew if it was sealed with a cross then Jesus approved. This is so contrary to our thinking today where we will only engage in something if the road is smooth and clear. Mother Cabrini travelled over the ocean numerous times, climbed through the Andes, built hospitals, schools, and orphanages when it seemed impossible to do so, all while not feeling the best. Charity--She poured herself out so completely for others all for love of God. She didn't spend time sitting around thinking only of herself, but always looked for the next opportunity to give, which is why we know her. Inwardly focused people don't light the world on fire with love. She truly was a remarkable woman and I'm so thankful that I got to know her and come to love her. Today is her feast day and I will put the introductory episode for Season Five in the comments if you are interested. You can find my podcast pretty much anywhere you listen to podcasts. Have a blessed day, Catholic Pilgrims. St. Frances Cabrini, pray for us!
Continue ReadingOn Tuesday, my family was at the bedside of a loved one on my husband's side as they left this world. It was the first time my husband or I ever had that experience and, boy, does it really get you to thinking. Such a strange thing: To one minute know that they are there and then, at their last breath, to know that they are gone. I think it speaks so much to the reality of the soul. When a person is asleep, they are still animated by the soul. You know that, while not responsive, they are still there. But in death, even though the loved one looks asleep, it is clear that what animated them--made them who they are--is no longer present. Even their body no longer gives us comfort--there it is, lying in front of you, it hasn't gone away, but the pain of the loss sets in, because they just aren't there anymore. Then, it's so strange that the pain of that loss comes out as tears. Isn't that weird to think about? We express sorrow through tears streaming down our face. That very real pain has to come out somehow--through cries, tears, groans. I read something at the beginning of the month, this month where we especially pray for our dearly departed, that I found really beautiful. "At the funeral Mass and the burial service, not once does the Church ask that the loved ones' pain be taken away. For the pain at the death of a loved one is a reflection of that very love. To deny the pain would be to deny the love. The Church asks that Jesus be with us in our pain." On my mantle during November, I place pictures of the loved ones in our family that have gone before us. I just added a new picture to the group on Tuesday. As I stood there looking at their faces, missing them, I felt the tears quietly slide down my face. The pain I feel is because of the love I have for them all. Love is such a mystery--all at the same time, it can bring us the greatest joy and the deepest heartache. May we continue to pray for the souls of our dearly departed, Catholic Pilgrims. How great a gift that we were able to love them and, hopefully, be reunited with them again. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Wednesday.
Continue ReadingHappy Veterans Day! To all my Catholic Pilgrims that have served, this military family thanks you. It's a hard life in many ways from deployments, injuries, family far away, lost friends, left friends, moves with bad movers, upended roots, long days and long nights, and even loss of life. But, it's, also, a life filled with many blessings--community, lifelong friends, purpose, new destinations to explore, resilient hearts, and the ability to serve your countrymen. Thank you to those that have hung up your uniform after serving your country. This family will always be grateful for your sacrifice.
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