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I was sitting in the pew yesterday before Mass and thinking about how I am going to read the Book of Job for Lent.
Out of the blue, my dark past flooded my mind and the images and memories just wouldn’t stop. I grabbed my son’s hand to have a bit of comfort and tried to pray the thoughts away.
This happens to me from time-to-time.
When it was time for the homily, my priest started by saying, “One of the hardest things as a priest is helping people who deal with scrupulosity or those that struggle with their dark past.”
Oh boy, that was enough to make the tears sting my eyes.
Job had a good life, everything was running well on all cylinders.
And then, one disaster after another strikes and Job clings to God and his faith.
Unlike Job, when disaster struck in my life, I turned away from my faith leaving myself ill-equipped to handle the pain. This led to bad choices for myself, things I regret deeply.
So often, it’s the bad things we choose to do that haunt us the most. We struggle to forgive ourselves because we can’t believe that we allowed ourselves to do something that is contrary to what we know to be good and right.
This is where the deepest sorts of shame come from and what Satan loves to throw in our faces.
Lent is a time, Catholic Pilgrims, to be reminded of the treasury we have been given to help us deal with suffering, sin, and pain: Confession, fasting, prayer, penance, almsgiving, and sacrifice.
I pray you have a blessed and meaningful Lent.
One of the oddest things to me is when someone shows up to disagree with Catholicism and says something like the guy from yesterday: "Jesus didn't institute the sacrament of marriage or ordain priests." Okay. (Sigh) This is the equivalent of a neighborhood kid running into a crowd of other kids and throwing a water balloon hoping to really upset them. Yeah, it might be annoying, but who cares? These kinds of declarative comments used to really get me upset, but now, I simply ask if they want to hear a Catholic response to their statement and if they don't, well, "Have a nice day." I have found people who make these kinds of comments, don't even know what Catholics mean when we say something is a Sacrament. I'd love to educate them, but rarely do they take me up on the offer to hear what it is and why we believe Jesus instituted it. But in case anyone is wondering: "A Sacrament is an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace." Baltimore Catechism for the win! The other thing that is curious to me is that people are constantly trying to find ways to downplay the power of Jesus. "No, He didn't do this." "No, He wouldn't do that." "No. NO. NOOOOOOO. NO, GRACE, OKAY! Just NO!" Jesus is always looking for ways to give us grace and it just so happens that He loves to do it at some of the most important moments of our lives. Our Baptism Our First Confession Receiving Jesus in the Holy Eucharist Being Confirmed in the Faith Getting Married Becoming a Priest When we are near death and/or are extremely sick. All of these events in our lives are opportunities for God to infuse us with grace. They also happen to be areas where we need grace to live out that Sacrament well. Marriage needs lots of grace. Being a priest needs lots of grace. Being a child of God requires lots of grace. When your earthly life may end, you need lots of grace. We are truly blessed to have the seven Sacraments, Catholic Pilgrims. May we never try to limit the ability to God to give us grace. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Thursday.
Continue ReadingAt dinner last night, I said to my husband, "Most women throughout human history have wanted a man who is a good protector and provider. Unless a woman is a raging-hot feminist, this is truly what women want from a man. It's unique to men. Both men and women want companionship, respect, love, and those universal things, but being a provider and protector are two unique things that women want from men. You're never going to hear a man say, 'I really want a woman who can provide and protect.' So, is there one word that defines what men want from women?" Very quick to answer, he said, "Well, there isn't one word that I can think of that sums it up, but men want women to be the heart. Only women can uniquely provide that in a relationship and a family. Women provide a warmth that a man just isn't equipped to give." My son piped in and said, "Moms make a home a place where you can relax." My husband agreed, "Yes, women make a place enjoyable to be in. All women have this ability and are capable of doing it, it's just that society has told so many that it's not important, but it is. No woman has ever said, 'I want a man to be the warmth and heart of a family,' and the reason is, is because women bring that to the table." I asked, "But, as a man, do you really notice all the decorations and things we do to a home?" "Men may not notice every little detail, but we notice the feeling it creates." He continued: "It all boils down to this: Women want men to provide the things and protect the family and the home. Men want women to take what they provide and protect and make it beautiful." Men, don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for desiring these things. Women, don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for desiring these things. They are good and wonderful things to desire and it creates a harmony in the family that can't be duplicated in any other way. Have a blessed day, Catholic Pilgrims.
Continue ReadingI was listening to a "Pints with Aquinas" episode the other day with Dr. John Bergsma as the guest. He said something truly profound, at least to me. "What they (Protestants) find uncomfortable about the Catholic Church is that the Church does things that they would reserve to Jesus. And I think that's the crux of it. And what they're objecting to is that the Church acts like Mrs. Jesus. It would be like, you know, my wife walks into the bank and cashes a check and the bank says, 'You can't do that. You're not John Bergsma.' But, wait, if she's really Mrs. Bergsma, she absolutely can. And if the Church is really Mrs. Jesus, then she absolutely can write checks on Jesus' account. She can act in persona Christi." When I heard Dr. Bergsma say this, I thought, "That is so true! That's the crux of everything I objected to when I was Protestant." When I'd argue with my husband about confession, the pope, priests, all that, I was upset because I didn't see the Church as the bride of Christ. When my husband was deployed, I had to act in his name several times. I could do this because I am his bride--his wife. We are one. Christ is not walking around on earth anymore. He's fully present in the Eucharist, but not in the same way that He was physically present to the Apostles. He gave us the Church--His Bride--to act in His name. If you take marriage seriously and see it as a true Sacrament, you will be in awe of the oneness of the married couple. Most people that know me well would tell you that they can't think about me without thinking about Dustin. In our culture's quest to water-down marriage into nothing more than a legal contract or to make marriage just whatever configuration anybody comes up, we've lost the idea of the oneness. Jesus is the Bridegroom, the Catholic Church--not a building, but the Body of Christ--is His Bride. We need the Church to administer the Sacraments using the correct matter and form, we need the Church to guide us to the Truth as new issues emerge through the ages, and we need her to dispense blessings on us from her treasury all in the name of Jesus. Have a blessed Tuesday, Catholic Pilgrims.
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