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Recently, Chelsea Handler, the 47-year old, not-so-funny comedian, took to national television and social media extolling the supposed “joys” of purposefully being childless. And not because she wants to give her life for others like those in the religious life. She gets to do so many things, you see, that people with children can’t do.
She showed pictures of herself on a beach, climbing a mountain, sitting in a hot tub smoking a joint, and mostly just lots and lots of sipping coffee alone staring out windows.
She doesn’t want kids, that’s fine. What I take issue with is her shallow, limited idea that children keep you from having a full, fulfilled life. Because see, Miss Handler, all those things you’ve done, I’ve done, too, with kids and I’m not far off in age from you.
I’ve been to numerous beaches, I’ve climbed numerous mountains sometimes with a baby strapped to me, I’ve lived overseas exploring a different culture and country, I even got my Master’s degree while pregnant with my second child. Believe it or not, I’ve also sat in a hot tub in my 21 years of being a mom, just minus the joint.
I’ve got scrapbooks upon scrapbooks filled with memories of me and my husband doing all kinds of fun and wonderful things with our children. We always had the mindset that we would bring them along for the ride for everything that we could.
Some people don’t want kids. Whatever. But, you are wrong to spout your nonsense that kids keep you from living. Yes, things are more challenging with children, but that’s okay. Love is worth the challenge.
While you do everything alone or, at least with your fling of the month or a friend, someday, you’ll be really alone. And I will have my husband, my children, and hopefully my grandchildren to sit with and look through all our memories together and laugh and reminisce. Life is meant to be shared with others.
Families are beautiful, Catholic Pilgrims. Children add spice to life and keep you young at heart. Life is, indeed, full and fulfilling with them by your side.
Have a blessed weekend.
I've been making episodes for Season Six of my podcast, where I'll be reading St. Augustine's "Confessions." (Pst...season starts January 1st, 2026.) In one of the readings, St. Augustine is basically praising a litany of God's attributes: Omniscient--all knowing Omnipresent--ever present Omnipotent--all powerful Eternal--always has been, always will be Immutable--unchanging God is love God is mercy God is Being itself Today, in our reading from Romans, St. Paul says, "Ever since the creation of the world, His invisible attributes of eternal power and divinity have ben able to be understood and perceived in what He has made." We can come to know and understand God's attributes by looking at the created world. To quote Bishop Barron, God is not one great "creature among many," He is the Creator of all things. St. Paul goes on to talk about how people become "fools" and how our senseless minds can be darkened. In this day and age, I would argue that God gets reduced down to three attributes--two from the list and an added one. God is love--Translated to mean that God tolerates any way you want to live, because love is acceptance. God is mercy--Translated to mean that God will show mercy to anyone that chooses to live a life contrary to Biblical teachings, but still calls themselves a Christian. And, the added one, God is nice--translated to mean that God is just a pal that doesn't want to add one bit of friction to your life in any way. With these, we lose one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit--Fear of the Lord. This gift is the understanding that God is all might and majesty, that we are little and completely dependent on Him, and that our understanding of Him can never be exhausted. Nobody really wants to worship just a nice, tolerant god. Consequently, when people try to depict God in this way, He fades from people's lives and new idols--usually themselves--take over. Let us have a healthy fear of the Lord, Catholic Pilgrims, and recognize that we worship the Almighty, the great "I Am." Have a blessed Tuesday. *Church is St. Joseph's Oratory in Montreal.
Continue ReadingSomeone privately wrote me asking how to stop confessing the same sin over and over again. They didn't tell me what sin it is and I didn't ask, but I told them that they need to figure out why they are unwilling to eradicate that particular sin. They responded back with an honest answer, "I guess I like doing it too much." Most sins come down to fear and pleasure: We fear that if we don't commit a particular sin that we will trap ourselves somehow or we enjoy the pleasure of it too much. Sometimes both reasons apply. Ultimately, though, it comes down to the fact that we don't trust God with our happiness. This leads us to only think of the here and now. We want our temporary pleasure now; we want our way of living now. This is why the Church asks us to think on the last four things--Death, Judgment, Heaven, and Hell. There is no one temporary thing here on earth that could ever make up for the joy we will receive in Heaven or the torture we would endure if Hell was our destination. And the truth is, if we forgo the pleasure here on earth, it may just be that we struggle and suffer. It's not as if choosing God's Will is always easy or pleasant. Oftentimes, it comes with a great amount of suffering and so often, to avoid that, we take the reins and choose to trust in sinful pleasures and sinful ways so that we can seemingly enjoy this life. What we all have to come to understand is that what God wills for our lives, will always end up, in the end, better for us, if we choose to trust in Him. Jesus tells us, "What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in Heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?" God's answer to us is not always the easy way or the most pleasurable way or the way of comfort, but the answer is always what is best for us. He knows better than anyone what we need to become Saints. So, we must knock at the door, Catholic Pilgrims, and ask for the grace to resist temporary "gain" over eternal joy and glory. Live the faith boldly and travel well this Thursday.
Continue ReadingSometimes when people share my posts, I can see comments made by people on their page. Yesterday, someone shared by post about praying the Rosary and how it's not vain repetition. I could see that someone commented to them, "Who taught you to bow to idols?" Now, I generally don't go commenting on other people's personal pages, but I will on here. The comment has nothing to do with the my post on the Rosary. It drives me absolutely bonkers when people just throw out an unrelated comment because they lack the ability to address the issue at hand. But, since they brought it up and because I like addressing bad comments and arguments, we'll talk about it today. The first thing we must understand is that to bow to something is not inherently wrong. Back in the day, men used to bow to women upon greeting them and, to be old fashioned in my language, in taking their leave. It was a sign of respect. In some Asian cultures, bowing is a cultural practice and we recognize that the bowing isn't idolization but, instead, a sign of respect. In 1 Kings 2:19, King Solomon bows to his mother. He does this, not because he is worshipping her, but because she is the queen mother and he is respecting her with a bow. Sometimes, Catholics bow to statues of Mary for the same reason--she is our Queen Mother and we are trying to show her respect through her image. There are other instances of people bowing in the Bible and it is not a form of worship. So, we see that we can bow and indict with our bodies a gesture of respect and honor. For Catholics, when we come into a Catholic Church, we genuflect, that is kneel and cross ourselves, as we take our seats. Anytime, we pass by the Tabernacle, we either bow or genuflect. Some people can't genuflect because of physical ailments, so they bow. The reason we do this is because Jesus is present. In this case, we are bowing and genuflecting out of worship. Jesus is present in the Eucharist. Today, in our Gospel reading, Jesus gives us the Our Father. Several years ago, I learned something very interesting from Bishop Barron. Where it says "daily bread," in the Greek, the word is epiousion, which means "substantial in the highest degree" or "super-substantial." St. Jerome translated this into the Latin Vulgate as "panem supersubstantialem," or super-substantial bread. What is bread in the highest degree? The Eucharist--Jesus fully present Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. We get on our knees, we bow, we genuflect when we enter a Catholic Church because we are worshipping Jesus in the Panem Supersubstantialem. It is not idolization, but right praise. Thank God, Catholic Pilgrims, we can receive this Daily Bread everyday. Have a blessed Wednesday.
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