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When I was in college, I reconnected with a childhood friend. In my mind, I thought we would pick up right where we left off, but in the 11 years that had passed since we last saw each other a lot had changed.
She had cultivated a good moral life. I had not.
So, she invited me to a Bible study and I went, though, I really didn’t have anything at that point to do with my faith. I went mainly hoping to get back to the friendship we had as little girls.
At one point, she ever so gently admonished me for not living a chaste life with my boyfriend and I immediately got defensive. I knew deep down she was right, but I didn’t want to admit that and I didn’t really want to change because I was very worldly.
She caused conflict within me and, so, I had to justify myself by calling her a “prude” and “holier-than-thou.”
I did not want to figuratively “cut off” that which was causing me to sin.
There’s lots of defensiveness these days. If someone says something that makes you defensive it’s because 1. They struck a nerve and you know they are right but you don’t want to hear it. 2. They are dead wrong about you and you are trying to save your good name. 3. They are attacking someone you care about unjustly.
With my friend, my problem was number one. The way you know this is that my anger at her was over-the-top and I quickly tried to turn it back on her. I couldn’t defend my position, so I needed to take the spotlight off of me and paint her in a negative light.
I ruined my friendship with her because I wrongly believed that people who care about you should only ever say things you want to hear. I, also, didn’t want to stop living how I was living even though I knew she was right.
The antidotes, Catholic Pilgrims, are to be honest with yourself about the state you are in and realize those that care about you don’t have your self-preserving blind spots. And, you know I’m gonna say it…Confession.
Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Thursday.
A movie I quote pretty much everyday is “Christmas Vacation.” Don’t worry, I watch the edited version now. There’s a scene where Clark has brought his whole family outside to see the house lights. He’s finally got them to turn on and the house is ablaze with white lights. Clark is happily tearful and moves his way down the line of family members, hugging them all. This is something he hopes enhances their Christmas. When he gets to his father-in-law, he says, “Dad, thanks for being here.” His FIL grumpily says back, “Those little lights aren’t twinkling.” Clark through a bit of a disappointed smile says, “I know that, Art, and thanks for noticing.” Why do I bring this up? If someone is trying to share a good thing with you, a happy moment, good news, refrain from making a negative comment. As Christians, we are called to be joyful and grateful. We are, also, called to be aware of the bad in the world so we can combat it. But, if someone is trying to share something positive with you, strive to leave your negative comment in your head. We all complain that there is too much darkness and ugliness in the world, but the second someone tries to share something positive, the Grumplestilskins in the crowd always feel the need to throw cold water on the situation, just like Art. Smile. Laugh. Enjoy the moment. Take a breather from politics for one minute. Be grateful that someone has invited you into a good experience to share with them. Yes, Catholics Pilgrims, not everything will be perfect this side of Heaven. Sometimes the lights won’t twinkle when they are supposed to, but we can still be grateful that they are on and shining for us. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Thursday.
Continue ReadingEvery morning, I listen to Jeff Cavins give his reflection on the day's Gospel reading. Usually, I take what he says and chew it over in my mind for the rest of the day. A few days ago, he asked a question that I can't stop thinking about. He asked, "Would your old self listen to your new self?" This question was in reference to trying to share the Gospel or the truth of Catholicism with people that are personally close to you. Oftentimes, those closest to us don't want to hear what we have to say, especially when it regards matters of faith. So, I asked myself, "Would my old self listen to my new self?" Old meaning like, life before converting to Catholicism. No. The answer is no. I was a very stubborn woman and, in my younger years, I was a big hot head who thought she knew everything. I'm still stubborn, but I'm less prone to fiery outbursts. However, the biggest reason that I wouldn't have listened is because old me and new me are too much alike--stubborn, quick to fight, not the most patient person, and prone to getting flustered when people just don't get it. I'm better than I was, but these are still my struggles. So, who did the old me--the me before converting to Catholicism listen to when it came to matters of Faith? Well, it was someone very close to me, but he's not like me in the areas that I struggle. It was my husband. He is determined, but not stubborn, slow to anger, patient, and he gives people space to work stuff out in their heads. When we would argue about Catholicism (he's a cradle Catholic), I would dig my heels in, get super mad, and not want to be patient enough to hear his arguments. He, however, just stayed the course and, eventually, I listened. He wasn't a push-over and he challenged me, which is what I needed. It let me know that he was serious. The truth is, though, my way of being would rarely win anyone over to at least hearing me out. It will always be the way of my husband--determined, firm, calm, and patient. I try my darnedest to be more like him. And sometimes, people close to you just aren't going to want to listen to you. That's okay. Pray that someone else can be the voice that they will hear. Have a blessed Tuesday, Catholic Pilgrims.
Continue ReadingI saw a woman on a video last week chastising Catholics for being "gatekeepers" with Communion. At one point in her long rant, she said something to the effect of, "We can take Communion however we want. If we want to take it with some Coke and beef jerky, you have no right to tell us we can't." I said out loud to no one, "That's exactly why we gatekeep." After Mass two Sundays ago, my husband and I were having coffee and he said, "You know, I had a profound thought today at church. Jesus tells us to love God with our whole heart, mind, body and soul. What I realized today is that He loves us with His whole heart, mind, body and soul. Not only did He do this on the Cross, but He does it through the Eucharist. This is totally "duh," but it really hit me at Communion today." Even if Communion were purely symbolic--which many believe--it would still be wildly unloving to receive Communion in a nonchalant, I'll-do-whatever-I-want-attitude. Symbolic things attached with great meaning should still be shown respect and honor. What the woman in the video fails to understand is that Holy Communion isn't symbolic for Catholics. By the power of Christ, through the hands of the priest, the bread and wine are changed into the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ. It is no mere symbol, but the Living God given to us in love. We "gatekeep" because the Eucharist is God. Jesus is literally loving us with His complete being; the best we can do is love Him back with our complete being, not treat Him like a snack to have with our favorite soft drink. There is a sever lack of reverence in our world when it comes to the things of God. We cannot properly love God if we view Him and the things connected with Him as ordinary or familiar. Any attitude of "I'll do things how I want" is stunningly unloving. May we always come to Holy Communion to receive Jesus as worthily as we possibly can by being humble, grateful, and reverent, Catholic Pilgrims. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Monday. *St. Joseph's Catholic Church in Springfield, MO.
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