When I was in college, I reconnected with a childhood friend. In my mind, I thought we would pick up right where we left off, but in the 11 years that had passed since we last saw each other a lot had changed.

She had cultivated a good moral life. I had not.

So, she invited me to a Bible study and I went, though, I really didn’t have anything at that point to do with my faith. I went mainly hoping to get back to the friendship we had as little girls.

At one point, she ever so gently admonished me for not living a chaste life with my boyfriend and I immediately got defensive. I knew deep down she was right, but I didn’t want to admit that and I didn’t really want to change because I was very worldly.

She caused conflict within me and, so, I had to justify myself by calling her a “prude” and “holier-than-thou.”

I did not want to figuratively “cut off” that which was causing me to sin.

There’s lots of defensiveness these days. If someone says something that makes you defensive it’s because 1. They struck a nerve and you know they are right but you don’t want to hear it. 2. They are dead wrong about you and you are trying to save your good name. 3. They are attacking someone you care about unjustly.

With my friend, my problem was number one. The way you know this is that my anger at her was over-the-top and I quickly tried to turn it back on her. I couldn’t defend my position, so I needed to take the spotlight off of me and paint her in a negative light.

I ruined my friendship with her because I wrongly believed that people who care about you should only ever say things you want to hear. I, also, didn’t want to stop living how I was living even though I knew she was right.

The antidotes, Catholic Pilgrims, are to be honest with yourself about the state you are in and realize those that care about you don’t have your self-preserving blind spots. And, you know I’m gonna say it…Confession.

Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Thursday.