When I was in college, I reconnected with a childhood friend. In my mind, I thought we would pick up right where we left off, but in the 11 years that had passed since we last saw each other a lot had changed.
She had cultivated a good moral life. I had not.
So, she invited me to a Bible study and I went, though, I really didn’t have anything at that point to do with my faith. I went mainly hoping to get back to the friendship we had as little girls.
At one point, she ever so gently admonished me for not living a chaste life with my boyfriend and I immediately got defensive. I knew deep down she was right, but I didn’t want to admit that and I didn’t really want to change because I was very worldly.
She caused conflict within me and, so, I had to justify myself by calling her a “prude” and “holier-than-thou.”
I did not want to figuratively “cut off” that which was causing me to sin.
There’s lots of defensiveness these days. If someone says something that makes you defensive it’s because 1. They struck a nerve and you know they are right but you don’t want to hear it. 2. They are dead wrong about you and you are trying to save your good name. 3. They are attacking someone you care about unjustly.
With my friend, my problem was number one. The way you know this is that my anger at her was over-the-top and I quickly tried to turn it back on her. I couldn’t defend my position, so I needed to take the spotlight off of me and paint her in a negative light.
I ruined my friendship with her because I wrongly believed that people who care about you should only ever say things you want to hear. I, also, didn’t want to stop living how I was living even though I knew she was right.
The antidotes, Catholic Pilgrims, are to be honest with yourself about the state you are in and realize those that care about you don’t have your self-preserving blind spots. And, you know I’m gonna say it…Confession.
Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Thursday.
This past Wednesday, my Jeep’s battery died and I was super frustrated because I had things to get to. My son had soccer practice and since it’s still been in the 100s here, we were going to attempt riding our bikes to his practice, all while carrying a soccer ball, water bottles, and his other gear. There was also a holy hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament at our base chapel and I wanted to go but didn’t think it would work given the lack of car situation, the heat, and all the things we had to carry to practice. A friend from church called me to ask about something else and she asked if I was coming to the holy hour. I explained my dilemma and she said very matter-of-factly, “I’ll come get you, we will make it work. It will be good for you to have some time with Jesus.” She was right. The hour with Christ was just what I needed. At one point, right before Benediction, she turned around and smiled a big smile at me and whispered, “It’s good you are here.” In today’s Gospel reading, I’m impressed by the people who bring the deaf and mute man to Christ. We see that a lot in the Bible: Someone has a bodily sickness and they seek healing for their loved one. And we would most likely do the same if we had a loved one that needed to be restored to bodily health. But, how often do we bring people to Christ that need Him spiritually? We forget the soul needs healing just as much. It’s harder to help people, though, because they are less willing to be helped spiritually than they are bodily. Nevertheless, we still need to try and be ready to “come and get” them as my friend did for me. Even if you are as healthy as can be in your body, Catholic Pilgrims, we still need time with Christ. Our soul always needs Him. Have a blessed Sunday. *Picture is an old Holy Water font in Mission San Francisco de Solano.
Continue ReadingI was listening to a song the other day that reminds me of my maternal grandma. As I was thinking of her, I wondered, “What trait did I take from her? Does a part of her shine through me?” That got me thinking of my grandparents and the best parts of them that I have tried to incorporate into my life. From my maternal grandmother, I got my feistiness and love of laughing and being silly. From my paternal grandmother, I got my romantic side and love of the arts. From her, I have learned to feel deeply and seek beauty. From my maternal grandfather, I got my hard work ethic and love of simplicity. He also gave me the realization that we always need to make time for those we love. From my paternal grandfather, I got my understanding that blood and is blood and you fight for your family. I, also, got from him a bit of a rebel heart. God makes each one of us unique. It’s what I love about the saints. They weren’t lemmings, they didn’t try to be just like the crowd. They are all different individuals with different paths, but all the same goal—to be the unique person God created them to be. I’m not going to look just like my grandparents, but I have taken the parts of them that are the absolute best and tried to incorporate those character traits into my life. It’s my way of keeping them alive in my life. Living out the virtues is one of the ways we keep Christ alive in us, Catholic Pilgrims. He is every virtue. When we attempt to incorporate Him into our lives, we will still be us, only better. Have a great Friday and a blessed weekend.
Continue ReadingI’ve been learning a lot about false humility the past couple of years through reading the works of different saints. Most of us, especially those of us that have committed grave sins, try to live out the virtue of humility by living out this false sense of it. “I’m just the worst. I don’t deserve Jesus’ love or forgiveness.” “There’s no hope for someone as bad as me. I’m just a lost cause.” (Sigh) “I’ve done so many bad things, I can’t even begin to ask Jesus into my life.” “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” That last one is Peter after doubting Jesus when He told Peter to keep fishing after a fruitless night.” I love Jesus’ response. He doesn’t play along with the pity party. He doesn’t try to overly console Peter. He just says, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men.” God already knows all we’ve done. It’s no surprise to Him. He didn’t come to save people with just some minor sins. He’s not so weak in power that He’d ever say, “Oh, boy, sorry, pal. Your sins are just too big for me to forgive. Guess you’re out of luck.” We aren’t honoring God with false humility. We think we are, though. The I’m-so-bad-I’ll remove-myself-from-God schtick doesn’t give God any glory or show your littleness. In fact, it says, “I’m beyond your help, God.” Don’t be afraid to come to Christ, Catholic Pilgrims, with all your hurt and all your sins that need forgiven. He’s not going to turn you away. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Thursday. *Picture is from the Sea of Galilee.
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