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Recently, when people find out I have two adult daughters who are out of the house, I’ve had a number of those people say, “Oh man, I can’t wait till my kids are gone.”
Then I look at their kids and they are little. There’s a lot of years to go and these parents are already dreaming of an empty house.
I remember the younger years; raising small ones and all the effort that goes into it. The days can be long. I understand frustration can make you say things that you don’t really mean.
However, it is a sad thing to me, though, to wish the years away and to wish that someone you love is no longer near. It’s also sad to me to think, “What if this child heard and understood that their parent can’t wait for them to be grown and gone?”
This is a side effect of a culture that devalues children and values “me time” above all else.
My girls left yesterday after visiting for a week and the house is not as full now. It’s exciting to me to watch them go make their way in the world, but watching your kids go is a hard thing.
Don’t wish life away, Catholic Pilgrims. Enjoy your children at every stage because each stage is special and never to be repeated. Life is too short to wish time away so that you can get to a point where the only person you need to focus on is yourself.
The long days, the struggles, the exhaustion will one day, quicker than you think, be a distant memory and you’ll miss those baby days, those chubby-cheeked toddler days, those early school days, those coming-into-their-personality days, those independent teenage days.
Thank God for the here and now.
Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Thursday.
As I was preparing to teach OCIA this past Sunday, I had a list of things I wanted to go over. It had dawned on me a few weeks ago that most people outside the Catholic Church believe that everything we do as Catholics is taught dogmatically. This leads to a ton of grave errors in how people think about Catholicism. So, I decided to talk to the class about four D's: Dogma, Doctrine, Disciplines, and Devotions. Dogmas are a very narrow subset of doctrine. They are the beliefs that are divinely revealed and cannot be changed. Everything stated in the Apostles' Creed is a dogma and to be a Christian, you need to believe in those things. They aren't optional. Doctrine is all the Church's teachings on faith and morals. Doctrines do not change, but our understanding of the teachings can grow and become more detailed. Belief in The Blessed Trinity is a Dogma. The Church's teaching on the Blessed Trinity is doctrine. The doctrine--teaching--doesn't change, meaning, it doesn't flip-flop. But over time, the Church's understanding of it has grown and become more full. Discipline is defined as an "instruction, system of teaching or of law, given under the authority of the Church [which] can be changed with the approval of proper authority, as opposed to doctrine, which is unchangeable” (334). Priests not marrying is a discipline, not a dogma. Devotions are those practices allowed by the Church that are more personal to the individual. Praying the Rosary is a devotion. Wearing a veil at Mass is a devotion. Praying evening Vespers is a devotion. As long as the Church has approved a devotion or allows for it, it is okay to practice. Devotions are not dogmatic and people are free to practice them or not. I've had people say to me, "The Catholic Church teaches that to be saved you have to pray the Rosary." No, that is not true. "To be saved you must pray the Rosary" is not a teaching of the Catholic Church. It is a devotion--a very strongly encouraged devotion and a fruitful one at that, but there is no dogmatic belief that praying the Rosary is how you are saved. I hope this is helpful and clear, Catholic Pilgrims. I found it helpful for myself to get a better understanding of it, so I can speak intelligently about our beautiful Catholic Faith. Have a blessed Wednesday.
Continue ReadingFor Lent, I'm doing the Pray40 challenge on the Hallow app. The whole theme is all about "The Return." We are following the story of "The Brothers Karamazov" and its relation to the parable of The Prodigal Son. On Sundays, we listen to Father Mike Schmitz' homily. This past Sunday, Fr. Mike said something that I'd like to highlight. Talking about how Prince Harry named his book "Spare," Fr. Mike said, "He wrote an autobiography, and the title of this autobiography is named after his wound." That wound being that he is nothing but the spare in the family. "He's just the back-up plan to the one that matters." For so many of us, it is our wound that becomes our identity. It is the story of our life. We are the wound, the wound defines us, the wound is why we are the way we are. Whenever your wound is your entire identity, resentment spreads its tentacles around your heart and you slowly start to die. Maybe not a literally death, but life, joy, energy, gratitude, and peace are all snuffed out. Today in my audio listening, Sister Miriam said, "We believe that our brokenness is somehow our fate or our identity. The enemy whispers to us, this is just who you are." This is why--and I know from experience--that so many people can't let go of their wound and let God heal it. It has become our identity. "I'm an abused person. I'm an addict. I'm unloved. I'm a failure. I'm awkward and weird and nobody likes me." We believe that if we lose this identity, we will be nothing. We will lose the label. We will lose the pity. We will lose the excuse for why our life has turned out like it has. It's just not true that we are our wound. And the minute that we decide that we don't want to be our wound anymore and hand that brokenness over to God, we will not be left with a bottomless pit. God can rush in and begin to fill us with His life and love. When He does that, we will begin to see that our identity is found in Him--we are a child of God and He loves us with an intensity that we fully don't understand. Lent is the perfect time to stop identifying yourself by your wound(s). You are God's beloved, Catholic Pilgrims.
Continue ReadingThis week's small town church comes to us from Chewelah, Washington--St. Mary of the Rosary. I've never been to the state of Washington, so that's all I have to say. Just kidding, just kidding. It's true that I haven't ever been to Washington, but I do have more to say. While I haven't laid a toe in the state, my better half once lived there as a teenager. His step-dad was stationed in Steilacoom, Washington and they lived there for about 2 1/2 years. I know it was rainy and my husband loved running in the drizzly rain and it was very green. And that's because Steilacoom is on the west side of the Cascade Mountains. Chewelah is on the eastern side, which I'm told is NOT the lush side. Side Note: For some weird reason, people from Kansas like to add an r into the words Washington and wash. Pretty much my whole family says "Warshington" or "Warsh." Why? I have no clue. I have been broken of the habit since living away, but if I'm home too long, that R sometimes resurfaces. Last week, we looked at a church in Alabama which is part of the area known as the Bible Belt. Interestingly enough, Washington state is part of an area called the "Unchurched Belt," with church attendance across the board being low. Catholics make up 14%-17% of the population. What's interesting is that this parish started out as a missionary parish founded by the Jesuits. What a lot of people don't know, is that missionaries, like the Jesuits, used to move into an area that was kind of uncharted territory and lay the groundwork. Once the population of an area became big enough to support a diocese, the missionaries would relinquish the parish(es) they founded to the diocese. That's what happened here. The Jesuits moved in, founded this parish in 1885 and handed it over to the Diocese of Spokane in 1916 and it's been holding down the fort ever since. 🙂 So, I hope you enjoy this copper-roofed church from Chewelah, WA, Catholic Pilgrims, and happy Monday! Side Note 2: While my husband enjoyed living in Washington, he's not too happy with the Seahawks for beating his Niners in the playoffs. So, his relationship with the state right now is bittersweet. lol.
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