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Yesterday, my family went to the movies to watch “You Gotta Believe.” It’s a baseball movie based off a true story.
One of the coaches of the team comes down with brain cancer and it’s serious. He has to step back from coaching while he does chemo.
At one point in the story, this coach’s son, devastated that his father isn’t getting better, runs out on the ballfield at night and yells out to the sky, “I hate you! I hate you!”
That was enough to make the tears flow hot on my face because I once did just about the same thing, except it was a football field and I was 17.
After my night on the football field, I went on to “wrestle with God,” much like Jacob in the Bible for years.
Yesterday, after I got home from the movie, I read a comment on my post from the other day that was wildly misunderstood. So many people missed the point of my post on burdensome rules.
Anyway, a woman, still missing the point, commented that respecting Christ in the Eucharist means that we dress up for church and women cover their heads. Boom. End of discussion.
Part of me wanted to defend my deep love of Christ, but the Holy Spirit kept saying, “Stay. Just stay. Don’t do it.”
While I was standing there at the stove with tears in my eyes, I asked, “Why not? Why not let me defend my love for You?”
What I heard was, “Because for some, it will never be enough what you do. Let me handle it. I know your heart.”
I realized how true that is. Because we humans are always trying to one up each other and prove we are better, sometimes, it will never be enough for many.
I have been to the depths with God and fought my way back to a relationship that I never thought possible after that night on the football field. Nobody but God truly understands my love and respect and nobody ever will.
There are a million and one ways, Catholic Pilgrims, that we can practice our Faith. And even if we did all those ways, there would still be someone who comes along and says, “Not enough.”
Of course with God, we can never give Him enough, but the only one we need to prove anything to is Him. He knows our hearts and His understanding of our hearts is all that really matters.
Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Tuesday.
*Picture is from the synagogue in Capernaum from our Gospel reading today.
Nobody grows up wanting to have a lot of baggage to carry around. But, (sigh) we make poor choices and before we know it, we are carrying around a figurative trunk of things that don't make us feel good about ourselves. Or, other people's bad choices have left us scarred and damaged and we don't really know how to feel whole again. For me, both of these situations are true, as I'm sure is the case for most people. And the lie that we are told by ourselves, the devil, and even the world is that we can't be redeemed. We are a lost cause, damaged beyond all repair. "Suck it up, Buttercup, because life just sucks and then you die." Mary Magdalene, whose feast day is today, shows us that we are never lost if Jesus comes to the rescue and He will always come. Either we have to ask or someone has to ask on our behalf if we are so far gone that we can't even think to ask for ourselves. Ah, I used to feel so awful about myself, so ashamed, so unworthy of even asking for forgiveness. Somehow, someway, I found my way to my first confession and through choking sobs, I asked Jesus for mercy, healing, and forgiveness. And my big trunk of poor choices and bad decisions was taken from my soul and I felt utterly restored to life. Mary Magdalene shows us, heck, even my life can show you, that you are never too far gone in this life for Jesus to redeem you. Live the Faith boldly and travel well, Catholic Pilgrims. St. Mary Magdalene, pray for us!
Continue ReadingMy dear Jesus, what am I supposed to think about how you've allowed corruption into Your Church? Jesus, "The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a man who sowed good seed in his field." Okay, then why aren't all your priests and bishops perfect? Why are many in the laity going off the rails? Jesus, "While everyone was asleep his enemy came and sowed weeds all through the wheat, and then went off. When the crop grew and bore fruit, the weeds appeared as well." So, I ask you, "Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? Where have the weeds come from?" What should I do, despair? Leave? Jesus, "An enemy has done this." Do not "pull up the weeds you might uproot the wheat along with them. Let them grow together until harvest; then at harvest time I will say to the harvesters, 'First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles for burning; but gather the wheat into my barn.'" Saints stay with the Church that Christ founded. We stay and use our gifts and our talents to be good wheat to build up the kingdom and make it strong. "If God were to remove all struggles from our lives, we would no longer receive the crown of glory." -- Blessed Franz Jagerstatter Hear the voice of St. Joan of Arc: We "were born" for this time, this place, and in this period of the Catholic Church. God always builds up Saints in times of trial, Catholic Pilgrims. Be good wheat. The Holy Spirit will hold the Church, just as Christ promised. Have a blessed Sunday.
Continue ReadingYesterday, I saw perhaps one of the most moving interviews. Matt Fradd was interviewing Peter Kreeft, who just recently lost his wife of 63 years. Matt Fradd asked him, "Do you have any advice for those that are newly married or about to be?" Dr. Kreeft said, "Do you think when you are very old and your wife is very old and ugly and wrinkled and fat and not very bright, or even nasty, you will still find her beautiful? If so, marry her." He continued, "The last view I had of my wife in the nursing home, about an hour after she died, I fell in love with her again. Here was a wasted, emaciated, wrinkled suffering body." And then after a pause and through tears he said, "It's as beautiful as a crucifix." "Because that body ain't gonna last, but the soul is. So if you don't love her soul, and just love her body, don't get married." Matt Fradd was speechless and choked up. I was crying watching Peter Kreeft talk about his bride. It was a very intense moment watching a husband fully describe what real love is. Dustin and I married at 22-years old. When you look at our wedding photos we look like fresh-faced babies. Now, almost a quarter of a century later, I see the effects of the aging process in both of us: The wrinkles, the grays, the pains that come more easily, less hair, eyes getting worse. There's nothing that can be done. Time will have its way. Sure, you can eat well, exercise, drink enough water, limit sun exposure, but, in the end, we all get old. And, oh, how I’ve fretted over this. Would Dustin love me when I'm not his beautiful Amy anymore? But, hearing Peter Kreeft talk about his wife helped me to realize that it will all be okay. Dustin loves my soul. He always has. I love his. I am the mother of his children. He is the keeper of our memories. I married him because I wanted to grow old with him, not young with him. That inevitably means our bodies will stop being youthful, but our love and our souls will be more beautiful then when we met. And that's why, after all this time, Dustin is more handsome to me than on our wedding day and I fall in love with him over and over again. Love your spouse well, Catholic Pilgrims.
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