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Yesterday, my family went to the movies to watch “You Gotta Believe.” It’s a baseball movie based off a true story.
One of the coaches of the team comes down with brain cancer and it’s serious. He has to step back from coaching while he does chemo.
At one point in the story, this coach’s son, devastated that his father isn’t getting better, runs out on the ballfield at night and yells out to the sky, “I hate you! I hate you!”
That was enough to make the tears flow hot on my face because I once did just about the same thing, except it was a football field and I was 17.
After my night on the football field, I went on to “wrestle with God,” much like Jacob in the Bible for years.
Yesterday, after I got home from the movie, I read a comment on my post from the other day that was wildly misunderstood. So many people missed the point of my post on burdensome rules.
Anyway, a woman, still missing the point, commented that respecting Christ in the Eucharist means that we dress up for church and women cover their heads. Boom. End of discussion.
Part of me wanted to defend my deep love of Christ, but the Holy Spirit kept saying, “Stay. Just stay. Don’t do it.”
While I was standing there at the stove with tears in my eyes, I asked, “Why not? Why not let me defend my love for You?”
What I heard was, “Because for some, it will never be enough what you do. Let me handle it. I know your heart.”
I realized how true that is. Because we humans are always trying to one up each other and prove we are better, sometimes, it will never be enough for many.
I have been to the depths with God and fought my way back to a relationship that I never thought possible after that night on the football field. Nobody but God truly understands my love and respect and nobody ever will.
There are a million and one ways, Catholic Pilgrims, that we can practice our Faith. And even if we did all those ways, there would still be someone who comes along and says, “Not enough.”
Of course with God, we can never give Him enough, but the only one we need to prove anything to is Him. He knows our hearts and His understanding of our hearts is all that really matters.
Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Tuesday.
*Picture is from the synagogue in Capernaum from our Gospel reading today.
I got a question yesterday in the comments from someone responding to the post I made on Sunday. The question: "How does one really be transformed?" They commented that they know that they need a change, but not sure what that looks like. So, I thought I would respond in a more general area in case anyone else wants to see what I would say. My answer is by no means the ultimate answer, it simply is what I know from my own life. In my late teens and early twenties, most of you know that I lived a very worldly life. I called myself a Christian, but there was no evidence in how I lived to witness to that...at all. By my own choosing, I had walked away from God because I was mad at Him and I decided that I was going to fix myself and that I didn't need His help. As time went on, I became more and more unhappy. I tried to find happiness in worldly things, but mostly I just ended up more unhappy and disappointed in myself. After many, many years, I found myself giving my general confession right before my conversion to Catholicism. I had finally realized that I couldn't fix myself. I needed God. The first thing you have to do to be transformed by God is identify what it is that you are struggling with? What sins and vices are you clinging to? You must identify what needs to change or you can't change it. For that, I would recommend sitting down in silence and giving at least 15 minutes for reflection. Doing this at church in front of the Tabernacle is best, but regardless, just do it. If you've established what the problem is, you must ask God for help. Grace is Divine help. You will need it. I had to learn that I couldn't fix myself on my own. I needed God's Divine Life within me to help me, but we must ask for it. Lastly, start with small, positive changes. Oftentimes when people think of being transformed, they think they need to drop everything and run off to become a monk who spends 15 hours in prayer in order to be transformed. Very few people on earth can do this. If you haven't worked out your discipline muscle in a long time, you will need to build it up first. So, start small. Read one chapter of one of the Gospels each day. Just one. Set a timer and pray starting at 3 minutes. Go to confession and then commit to going to Mass each Sunday. Start here and then build from there. We are all a work in progress. Somedays we do well, somedays we don't. Each day is a day to get up, ask for the grace we need, and start again. Over time, you will see the effects God makes in your soul. Have a blessed day, Catholic Pilgrims.
Continue ReadingThis past week, our priest was TDY to Georgia, so we didn't have daily Mass on base. TDY means temporary duty for military members in a different location than where they are stationed. Nearly every day for Mass, it's me, my son, and another lady that works on base. We'll call her Maria. Other people come and go, but we are kind of the constants. I love when we have a full little chapel. Anyway, Maria and I decided that we would still come up to the chapel to pray the Rosary together during Mass time. Well, I quickly found myself making excuse after excuse not to go up. "Oh, we need to finish up some school." "Oh, the door will be locked. Who wants to bother trying to find someone with a key." "Oh, I can pray it here at home." "Oh, this. Oh, that." Maria, though, has such a beautiful level of piety that it's infectious. She has a bag of religious books that she carries with her everywhere. She says her daily prayers with such love and devotion. She is always excited to do anything that brings her closer to God. I love her and her beautiful spirit. Because I knew she would be up there to pray, I went even when the inertia of my soul wanted to keep me at home being lazy. One day, I got there early and the door to the Blessed Sacrament room was locked and I was so sloth-like that I didn't even put forth the effort to go find someone with a key. I just kind of was like, "Oh well, guess not today." But, when Maria showed up and heard that the door was locked, she immediately turned around and went to find someone. In that moment, I felt so pitiful. Here I was standing around, not on my lunch break, but with time and I couldn't even move to go get someone to open the door. Maria on the other hand didn't even think twice. And I thought to myself right then and there, "God, I still have much work to do. Please forgive my lazy ways and help me be more like Maria." This is why we need each other, Catholic Pilgrims. This is why our Catholic Faith can't just be about a personal relationship with us and Jesus. We will easily slip into the deadly sin of sloth. Maria is a shining example for me and she holds me accountable. I need her witness. Have a blessed Monday.
Continue ReadingMost people want to go to Heaven. I was thinking today, though, at Mass, that while most people want to go to Heaven, they don't want to bring Heaven to earth quite yet. What do I mean by this? Well, early on in my Christian life, I wanted to go to Heaven. Mostly, it was because I just wanted to see departed loved ones again. And, it sounded nice, to be in a perfect place. I felt kind of like I was owed it simply by the sheer fact that I called myself a Christian. But, in the meantime, I didn't really want to live a holy and pleasing life here on earth. I wanted to indulge in a few choice sins, if you know what I mean. Heaven sounded good for after I'd had all the "fun." Though I felt I was owed it, I certainly didn't want to try to create Heaven here on earth through my own actions or cooperation with God. So, when suffering came my way, I was appalled that God would allow me to go through that. I felt I was owed a suffering-free life and Heaven. "Don't ask anything of me, yet give me all that I feel I deserve." This is what we call insufferable pride. I just didn't really understand anything about sacrifice or suffering as it should be understood to a Christian. When you are constantly told that Jesus did it all, there's nothing for you to do but sit back, call yourself a Christian, enjoy the ride because Jesus has got you, and live however you would like, because, again, you are covered by the Blood of Jesus, well, you will grow lukewarm real quick. Baptized believers are the Body of Christ, and that means, that we all make up Jesus' Body in a mystical, spiritual way. Christ suffered for us. As part of His Body, we can unite our suffering to His suffering and offer it to the Father. We are to participate with Him, not just hit cruise control. God has always wanted our participation and the craziest thing about Christ's suffering is that it was/is redemptive. Our suffering and sacrifices when united to His are redemptive, too. This is one of the ways we become more Christ-like. And so, this means, that we have to necessarily live differently. We can't "conform ourselves to this age" but instead "be transformed," as St. Paul tells us, Catholic Pilgrims. Our lives should look different. Have a blessed Sunday.
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