.png)
Yesterday, my family went to the movies to watch “You Gotta Believe.” It’s a baseball movie based off a true story.
One of the coaches of the team comes down with brain cancer and it’s serious. He has to step back from coaching while he does chemo.
At one point in the story, this coach’s son, devastated that his father isn’t getting better, runs out on the ballfield at night and yells out to the sky, “I hate you! I hate you!”
That was enough to make the tears flow hot on my face because I once did just about the same thing, except it was a football field and I was 17.
After my night on the football field, I went on to “wrestle with God,” much like Jacob in the Bible for years.
Yesterday, after I got home from the movie, I read a comment on my post from the other day that was wildly misunderstood. So many people missed the point of my post on burdensome rules.
Anyway, a woman, still missing the point, commented that respecting Christ in the Eucharist means that we dress up for church and women cover their heads. Boom. End of discussion.
Part of me wanted to defend my deep love of Christ, but the Holy Spirit kept saying, “Stay. Just stay. Don’t do it.”
While I was standing there at the stove with tears in my eyes, I asked, “Why not? Why not let me defend my love for You?”
What I heard was, “Because for some, it will never be enough what you do. Let me handle it. I know your heart.”
I realized how true that is. Because we humans are always trying to one up each other and prove we are better, sometimes, it will never be enough for many.
I have been to the depths with God and fought my way back to a relationship that I never thought possible after that night on the football field. Nobody but God truly understands my love and respect and nobody ever will.
There are a million and one ways, Catholic Pilgrims, that we can practice our Faith. And even if we did all those ways, there would still be someone who comes along and says, “Not enough.”
Of course with God, we can never give Him enough, but the only one we need to prove anything to is Him. He knows our hearts and His understanding of our hearts is all that really matters.
Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Tuesday.
*Picture is from the synagogue in Capernaum from our Gospel reading today.
We all have something that we need to be healed of, whether it be spiritual wounds, emotional ones, physical, or even mental. Doesn't it feel, though, that we aren't necessarily getting better--more healed--as a people? One reason that people don't heal is because they want to cling to the pain. That sounds crazy, but it's true. For me, I didn't want to let go of my anger. The anger radiating from my emotional pain fueled me. It allowed me to be the hurt, injured victim that couldn't be blamed for how things were going in my life. I didn't want to let go of my anger, because if I let go of my anger, what would I have left? Well, I'd have to face myself and who I had allowed myself to become and I didn't want to do that. The anger allowed me to direct my focus on others and that took the heat off of me. If we want to truly be healed, we must let go of wanting to cling to our sad story in order to give us a pass for how our life is turning out. A second reason that people don't heal is because they try to fix themselves on their own. You will need Christ. I tried to heal myself, while still clinging to my red-hot anger, mind you, and that went absolutely nowhere. I even--out loud--told God, I was turning my back on HIm. Then I marched off to fix myself. That did not work. At all. Healing doesn't mean that you forget. Healing doesn't mean that you get to a place where you condone bad things that happened to you. Sometimes, we will not be physically healed as we desire. But, God can give us the grace to handle physical issues with dignity and not self-loathe to the point of wallowing in our misery. That misery will always turn to bitterness. A hard truth to accept is that, at some point, everybody's body will stop working for them. Healing does mean that we invite God into our lives to give us grace, that we brave facing the ways that we have poorly tried to cope, that we forgive any who need forgiving and let God deal out the justice, and that, instead of clinging to our pain, we had it over to God and refuse to let it have power over us anymore. Lent is a perfect time to seek healing, Catholic Pilgrims. Have a blessed Friday.
Continue ReadingBecause I live on an Air Force base, weekday evening Masses tend to have a lot of civilians present who don't normally come to Sunday Mass because they live off base. The evening Ash Wednesday Mass is always full of unfamiliar faces of people getting off work and coming over to Mass before going home. Sometimes people don't quite get off work in time and so they are a little late. Yesterday, after Mass, a few people had gotten there late and missed getting ashes. Standing in the back, I heard them shyly ask Father if they could get some and he smiled and said, "Oh, don't worry, it's not required." I think he thought they believed they had done something wrong. They smiled and replied back, "Would it still be okay to get some?" "Of course, come with me." There is something about Ash Wednesday that speaks to the human heart almost more than any other holy day. I think the answer to why is found in something I read yesterday. "To take the ashes is to confess kinship with this world of dust, to declare our readiness to abdicate pretensions to omnipotence. Standing before God in this way, I profess that I am not God. I admit the chasm that separates me from Him. I accept the uncomfortable otherness of God. He is what I am not, yet my being bears His mark. I crave a completion no created thing can give. I walk this earth as a yearning incarnate. I am at home, yet a stranger, homesick for a homeland I recall but have not seen." --Bishop Erik Varden Our ashes remind me of us our littleness and our bodily mortality and I think Ash Wednesday is that day, where as lost as we may be, we still want to return and be reminded that we belong to God. Have a blessed Thursday, Catholic Pilgrims.
Continue Reading"Remember, you are dust and to dust you shall return." This life is a pilgrimage to our eternal destination whether you realize you are on it or not. The goal should always be to journey towards our true home--Heaven. I pray that you live the faith boldly this Lent and travel well. Have a blessed Ash Wednesday.
Continue Reading.png)
.png)
.png)