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Yesterday, my family went to the movies to watch “You Gotta Believe.” It’s a baseball movie based off a true story.
One of the coaches of the team comes down with brain cancer and it’s serious. He has to step back from coaching while he does chemo.
At one point in the story, this coach’s son, devastated that his father isn’t getting better, runs out on the ballfield at night and yells out to the sky, “I hate you! I hate you!”
That was enough to make the tears flow hot on my face because I once did just about the same thing, except it was a football field and I was 17.
After my night on the football field, I went on to “wrestle with God,” much like Jacob in the Bible for years.
Yesterday, after I got home from the movie, I read a comment on my post from the other day that was wildly misunderstood. So many people missed the point of my post on burdensome rules.
Anyway, a woman, still missing the point, commented that respecting Christ in the Eucharist means that we dress up for church and women cover their heads. Boom. End of discussion.
Part of me wanted to defend my deep love of Christ, but the Holy Spirit kept saying, “Stay. Just stay. Don’t do it.”
While I was standing there at the stove with tears in my eyes, I asked, “Why not? Why not let me defend my love for You?”
What I heard was, “Because for some, it will never be enough what you do. Let me handle it. I know your heart.”
I realized how true that is. Because we humans are always trying to one up each other and prove we are better, sometimes, it will never be enough for many.
I have been to the depths with God and fought my way back to a relationship that I never thought possible after that night on the football field. Nobody but God truly understands my love and respect and nobody ever will.
There are a million and one ways, Catholic Pilgrims, that we can practice our Faith. And even if we did all those ways, there would still be someone who comes along and says, “Not enough.”
Of course with God, we can never give Him enough, but the only one we need to prove anything to is Him. He knows our hearts and His understanding of our hearts is all that really matters.
Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Tuesday.
*Picture is from the synagogue in Capernaum from our Gospel reading today.
We are back safe and sound from Ireland, my fellow Pilgrims. What a wonderful trip we had and there is so much to share. This is the Galway Cathedral, in Galway, Ireland. It makes you feel like you've stepped into a huge castle. We just missed Mass when we arrived, but we got to join in for the Rosary in the Marian shrine off to the right. As I knelt down to pray with the locals, I was a bit distracted by the voice of the lady leading it. She had a definite rhythm and a heavy Irish accent and at first it was a little hard for me to focus. But, I closed my eyes and it wasn't long before her low, rhythmic, steady voice drew me in and the whole experience became very memorable. Again, I was struck by the oneness of our Catholic faith. I didn't know this group of people that I joined up with, but because of our common knowledge of the Rosary prayers, I was able to join up with them and pray right alongside them. Even if they had been speaking another language, I would have known what they were praying and I could have followed along in my head. These simple, yet beautiful aspects of our faith allow us to be connected with each other as we travel. Though we didn't make it in time for Mass, I was grateful to be able to join my Irish Catholic brothers and sisters in prayer. One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic, Catholic Pilgrims--the four marks of the church Christ founded. Have a blessed Monday!
Continue ReadingI have this jar of mustard seeds on a shelf in my music room. It was given to me by my sister and sister-in-law at the baby shower they threw for me when I was pregnant with my son. After the loss of eight babies after my two daughters, I felt completely sunk in sadness. Yet, my husband and I held on to a mustard-seed-sized bit of faith that one day we would be blessed with one more child. My son is twelve now and I still keep this jar to remind me that no matter how bleak things seem, no matter how inadequate I think I am, no matter how far away God may feel, and no matter how impossible the ask, if I just hold on to a bit of faith and trust that God will see me through, He will. Jesus tells us today in our Gospel reading, “The mustard seed is the smallest of all seeds, when full grown it is the largest of all plants." Matthew 13 Even the smallest bit of faith can blossom into amazing things, Catholic Pilgrims. Don't ever let despair be an option. Have a blessed Monday.
Continue ReadingSeveral months ago, I got exceedingly angry about something. I won't go into details, but I was super angry right before Daily Mass and I was in the wrong. As I sat at home stewing, I knew that I couldn't go to Mass and receive Jesus with so much anger in my soul. So, I hurried my son along to get ready early because I wanted to go down to Confession before Mass. I went straight to Father's office, knocked on the down, and asked if I could come to Confession. He quickly smiled and said, "Of course!" After Confession, I went into the Blessed Sacrament to pray and was so grateful that I could come early and free my soul of my anger and my improper response to it. It just wouldn't have been right to come to Mass and try to receive Our Lord in such a state. There was a time when I would have refused to go to church after such a reaction. I would have just wanted to stay mad and fume for days. However, I've come to depend so much on going to Mass nearly every day that without it, I feel a bit lost. So, I wanted to go, but I also was aware that I needed to be cleansed in my soul before going. And, yes, I could have still gone to Mass without Confession, Jesus wants us there with Him. Even if we can't receive Jesus in the Eucharist, we still need to go to Mass, because He deserves our worship. Solomon asked for an "understanding heart" in our first reading today from Kings. The more I go to Mass, the more I pray, the more I try to foster a relationship with Jesus, the more aware I become that I am made, as St. Paul tells us, "in the image of His Son." I am more aware of how I need to conform myself to the image of Christ and part of that is receiving Him worthily. Thank God for the Sacraments that offer such healing and grace. Thank God that He is always ready to forgive us when we ask for forgiveness. Thank God He gives us such a fine pearl of great price. May we give all that we have to receive that pearl, Catholic Pilgrims. Have a beautiful Sunday.
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