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Yesterday, my family went to the movies to watch “You Gotta Believe.” It’s a baseball movie based off a true story.
One of the coaches of the team comes down with brain cancer and it’s serious. He has to step back from coaching while he does chemo.
At one point in the story, this coach’s son, devastated that his father isn’t getting better, runs out on the ballfield at night and yells out to the sky, “I hate you! I hate you!”
That was enough to make the tears flow hot on my face because I once did just about the same thing, except it was a football field and I was 17.
After my night on the football field, I went on to “wrestle with God,” much like Jacob in the Bible for years.
Yesterday, after I got home from the movie, I read a comment on my post from the other day that was wildly misunderstood. So many people missed the point of my post on burdensome rules.
Anyway, a woman, still missing the point, commented that respecting Christ in the Eucharist means that we dress up for church and women cover their heads. Boom. End of discussion.
Part of me wanted to defend my deep love of Christ, but the Holy Spirit kept saying, “Stay. Just stay. Don’t do it.”
While I was standing there at the stove with tears in my eyes, I asked, “Why not? Why not let me defend my love for You?”
What I heard was, “Because for some, it will never be enough what you do. Let me handle it. I know your heart.”
I realized how true that is. Because we humans are always trying to one up each other and prove we are better, sometimes, it will never be enough for many.
I have been to the depths with God and fought my way back to a relationship that I never thought possible after that night on the football field. Nobody but God truly understands my love and respect and nobody ever will.
There are a million and one ways, Catholic Pilgrims, that we can practice our Faith. And even if we did all those ways, there would still be someone who comes along and says, “Not enough.”
Of course with God, we can never give Him enough, but the only one we need to prove anything to is Him. He knows our hearts and His understanding of our hearts is all that really matters.
Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Tuesday.
*Picture is from the synagogue in Capernaum from our Gospel reading today.
This is a picture of the little room I go to nearly everyday for daily Mass on base. For the next two weeks, our chapel is getting new carpet installed and this means we can't have daily Mass in here. Side note: Yes, our entire chapel has carpet. It's base life, just roll with it. 😅 Anyway, on Sunday, Father had a bunch of the men move all our Blessed Sacrament Chapel stuff into a RE classroom so that we could still have daily Mass. Yesterday, my son and I showed up and Father was in the classroom putting the finishing touches on making it look as much like a little chapel as possible. He turned and smiled at me and said, "See, we can make this work!" He had lit the candles, brought in the statues, the altar was all ready and prepared, our chairs with kneelers were in place, and our holy water font was by the door. The only thing we couldn't bring in was the Tabernacle because it's bolted to the wall. It was really touching how much care he put in to making our temporary space feel like a tiny Catholic chapel. As Father was sitting there before Mass praying, I thought to myself, "There is only one man on this base out of thousands that work here that can give me Jesus in the Eucharist and it's Father Joseph. We can move rooms, change decor, and all that, but without him, I don't get the Eucharist." I was immensely grateful in that moment for Father and for all priests who go the distance to give the faithful the Eucharist. Father could have just cancelled daily Mass until the renovations were completed, but he didn't. He still is showing up to provide this life-giving sacrament. And I can only get it through his hands. No other man on base could provide it for me. They could try, but it would just remain plain 'ole bread. Thank God for the Sacrament of Holy Orders and for the good men who answer that call. We need you, priests. Without you standing in persona Christi, our souls would starve to death. Have a blessed Tuesday.
Continue ReadingWhat if you have an ugly, storied past like me? One that's full of awful sins and very bad decisions? What if you were the type of person who covered it well, or somewhat well? What if most people never knew all the terrible sins you committed? What if you think of yourself as damaged goods, the worst sinner, or beyond help? You may say to me, "No, Amy, you're the Catholic Pilgrim, you're just exaggerating your past. It couldn't be that bad." Well, it really was. Old Amy and Today Amy are like night and day. So, what gives? One thing that big 'ole sinners like to do is find some twisted victory in their sins. "Oh, I'm just too bad. Oh, God could never heal me. Oh, I'm beyond repair." There is no trophy for greatest sinner, yet a lot of people compete for it. Too many people want to see themselves as the one person that God couldn't possibly heal. Which is nonsense. Utter nonsense. Your sins don't make you unique or special. You are not bigger than God. So, you have two options: 1. Continue to wallow and lick your wounds forever hoping that your spit eventually will make you feel better. Or 2. Bring it all to Christ and let Him do what He does best--restore, heal, and cleanse. I was only ever beyond repair when I refused to let Christ in. Once I did, and surrendered to Him, trusting in His mercy and love, did things start to turn around. It didn't happen overnight and it was painful to be sure. I know now that everyday I need God to help me and give me the graces to keep moving in the right direction, which is towards Him. We all need Him, Catholic Pilgrims. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Monday.
Continue Reading"The land of Zebulun and land of Naphtali, the way to the sea..." One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says to me, "Yeah, but we all believe in Jesus so that's the most important thing." This is usually said by a Protestant and as a former Protestant, it just irritates me to no end. While it is important to believe in Jesus, it is, also, of upmost importance that we follow what He wants and He most certainly does not want fractures in Christianity. He prayed that we all might be one, not divided up in different denominations all claiming that the Holy Spirit has led them to the truth. I would categorize it as blasphemy to claim that the Holy Spirit gives different truths to different people. It's silly but if you ask Alexa who founded the Catholic Church, she says, "Jesus Christ" If you ask her about Protestant denominations, she'll list off their human founders: Martin Luther, John Calvin, John Wesley, etc. This is exactly what St. Paul warns against in our second reading today from 1 Corinthians 1:10-13, 17. "I urge you, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree in what you say, and that there be no divisions among you. It has be reported to e about you, that there are rivalries among you. Each of you saying, 'I belong to Paul,' or 'I belong to Apollos,' or 'I belong to Cephas.' Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you?" No, Christ never, ever intended us to be divided. He wanted us to be one, belonging to the Church He founded on Peter that was to last to the end of time. All these divisions are the result of pride and pride alone. "I know better," said the founder of each split off that you see as you drive around and move through life. The claim is: "The Holy Spirit has shown me the right way." Except the Holy Spirit is not in the business of giving different truths to different people. He is God and therefore that is impossible. Christ gave the keys to Peter and said "on this rock I will build my church" and He promised that the "gates of Hell will not prevail." Members of the Catholic Church are not perfect, Catholic Pilgrims, but that Founder of our Church is and that's what has held it for nearly 2000 years. This is nothing to feel prode over, but instead humble gratitude. Have a blessed Sunday. *Picture is of the Sea of Galilee
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