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I heard someone say not too long ago, "As you go through your marriage, and as long as you strive to love your spouse well, you will realize, as you look back, that your wedding day was when you loved your spouse the least." The point of this quote is that on your wedding day, you can't possibly imagine how much more in love you will grow with your spouse. But, that's how love works. There isn't a finite amount and it gets tapped out. I'm not a perfect spouse by any stretch of the imagination, but I have learned how to love Dustin better through the decades. At the beginning of our marriage, I was definitely more selfish, more nitpicky, less patient. The Sacrament of Marriage will, if you let the graces from it work as they should, weed out obstacles to love. I'm reading "The Brothers Karamazov" right now and yesterday I read a great passage. It's from an old priest-monk who is imparting wisdom right before he dies. "Love is a teacher, but a hard one to obtain: learning to love is hard and we pay dearly for it. It takes hard work and a long apprenticeship, for it is not just for a moment that we must learn to love, but forever." I think one of the greatest things I've learned as a wife, is that to properly love my husband, I need to focus on how I can be a better woman. So often, especially early in a marriage, both spouses are trying to change the other person, to mold them into who they want the other to be. I have learned and, I'm still learning, that when I become a better me, I love Dustin better and that, in turn, frees him to be a better him. And I don't want to become better just so that Dustin will fix his faults. I want to become better so that I can love him better. I want him to know that it is my desire to love him more and more as the years go by. Learning to love well does take hard work, because it necessarily requires that you face yourself and see that parts of you need to be changed and nobody likes to think that they are the ones that need to change. I would do anything for love of this man and that includes purging negative parts of me so that I can love him better. That is what we are all called to do as spouses, Catholic Pilgrims. So, love your spouse well, because they are yours to love. *And before any feminist has to ask, yes, he does the same for me.
Continue ReadingI watched a video the other day of a young woman who had completely altered her appearance to such a degree that it was impossible to "see" her. As a former counselor, I'm always a little compelled to watch these videos, because I know that some deep hurt causes people to do this to themselves. It's a type of self-loathing. Anyway, she was so covered with piercings, weird makeup, oddly chopped hair, and attention-seeking clothing that you could barely see the woman underneath. In her words, she was "alt-goth." She was getting ready to do a transformation back to a more normal look for her dad. Her look was hard on him, and apparently, before his mind is gone, she wanted to gift him with looking more like how he remembered her. Which was very good of her. Her transformation actually helped you to see her and she was such a pretty young woman. Tragically, she didn't like the way she looked. One comment, though, deserved my response. A lady said, "As long as you are happy and not hurting anyone." I hate this way of thinking. Clearly, the father is hurting by seeing his daughter disfigure herself. And, it was very clear, that she wasn't happy. There was no joy to be found. It, also, is so damaging to say to people that it's okay if you hurt yourself, as long as you don't hurt anyone else. That's never true. Never, ever, ever. So, I commented. To which someone had to come and tell me that "I'm boring and mentally ill for believing in a magic god" and blah, blah. That's neither here nor there. That kind of weak attempt at trying to offend me doesn't at all. The only thing to say to this is that the least boring people are the Saints. What incredible lives they led and do lead for those that are among us. Exterior bodily modifications don't make a person less boring. In fact, all it does is hide and mask the real person that God created you to be. Holiness is not boring. Our pilgrimage to Heaven is a wonderful adventure if we cooperate with God's grace and strive to live out His will for our lives. I've never read a Saint's story and thought to myself, "Wow. They are super boring." Quite the opposite; I wonder if I have what it takes to be like them. Pray for those people, Catholic Pilgrims, who don't yet know that they were made in the image and likeness of God. Have a blessed Thursday.
Continue ReadingYesterday, a picture with snow; today, a picture of Spring. For the last couple of weeks, the comments have been lively. Very lively. Lots of our brothers and sisters in Christ of the Protestant Revolution came over to have a chat. Some were nice, some were not. It comes with the territory. There was lots of encouragement for us Catholics "to read our Bibles." Accusations were made that we don't and people making assumptions. Yesterday was my first day back at daily Mass on base since the start of Lent. Our priest is finally back from training. Usually, there is another lady in there with me and my son. She's a friend of mine and nearly every day she comes in carrying one of her religious books that she's reading. She has it tabbed and highlighted. All her books look so worn and loved. Hours of her life spent pouring over reading about Jesus, Mary, and the Saints. I saw her today clutching her book and my heart just swelled with love for her and for all of you who inspire me so much with your devotion to Our Lord. I have a friend who couldn't get into the Blessed Sacrament room here on base one day and so he sat outside the door just to be close to Our Lord. I have friends whose Bibles are marked up, highlighted, and look so very worn, but the time spent in reading through the pages is just immense. There are so many of you who travel to churches just to see the beauty and spend time with Jesus. I find that incredible and beautiful. Some of you pray the Rosary several times a day and that's just--wow--amazing. The point of all this is that so often we hear the negative about Catholics. "They aren't filling the pews." "They don't read their Bibles." "They just go through the motions." God love you all, though, because what I see on here is different. So very different. So many of you show up to read my thoughts and to talk about Jesus and His mother and our shared love of our Catholic Faith and it all helps us grow closer to God. Last week, when people were attacking and only choosing to see the negative, I was so grieved because they don't know all of you. Sure, we are imperfect people, but I see people that really and truly love Our Lord and I'm so inspired by you all and grateful that you give such good witness to the beauty of our Catholic Faith. So, anyway, I just want to say that and to say keep living the faith boldly and traveling well, my fellow Pilgrims.
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