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I’ve heard a lot of people recently say that you need to wait to get married after you’ve “lived a little.”
I can’t stand this mindset. And while I don’t think people should rush into marriage just to be married, this idea that your life is on the downward slope once you “settle” into marriage is false.
Marriage shouldn’t be something you do after all the other things are done.
Why do we think we can only “live life” before marriage?
Dustin and I were married at 22. In a way, we have grown up together. Did we have a nest egg and well established careers before we married? No. Had we traveled the world? No.
No, we were poor, young twenty-somethings. We had a 1985 baby blue Buick Century for a car and we lived in a little apartment. We didn’t go out to eat much and we played board games at night after our daughter went to bed.
But, we’ve always seen our lives as one life—together. In 21 years, we’ve experienced more things than I can list off and this is only after 21 years. Marrying wasn’t “settling down;” it was finding the person that I wanted to experience life with—all of it.
Yes, yes, I know, not everyone will find their spouse at a young age. I know that. But, our culture breeds this idea that you shouldn’t even want to marry young because you need time to, well…I’ll say it out loud…be selfish.
Have your own money, your own career, your own time, your own bed, your own stuff, your own flings that mean nothing, your own this, your own that.
After years and years of simply living for yourself, it will be very difficult to integrate in a new person that you are going to have to share life with. And, there is a tendency—not always—to continue to see your lives as separate.
Marriage should not be the last thing on the list of adult things you do. All the things you want to do that matter, can be done with a spouse by your side.
Qualifiers for those that will get offended:
1. I’m not saying everyone should get married at 20 or that your marriage will be perfect if you marry young.
2. I’m not saying everyone who married late is selfish or that they don’t have a good marriage.
Marriage is a beautiful, wonderful sacrament, Catholic Pilgrims. The way you approach it makes all the difference in the world.
Have a blessed Friday.
ITALY PILGRIMAGE
‘Journey with the Saints’
OCTOBER 23-31, 2023
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About a month ago when I was in Phoenix, my family went out to eat at a sushi restaurant. Our waitress was a young, college-aged looking woman, very sweet and slightly shy. Right as we were about to leave, I noticed her Miraculous Medal necklace and asked her about it. She touched it and shyly said, "Oh, yes, I'm Catholic." I smiled back and said, "Me, too. Look, I have on a Miraculous Medal ring." That completely broke the ice with her and, in like five seconds, she relaxed, almost as if she was around family. As we got up to go, she even said, "God bless." This is one of the reasons why I love our sacramentals. They allow conversations to happen. When people come into my home, I have lots of sacramentals and they always, always start a conversation. People travel around my house like it's a museum. I love it, because it gives me a chance to talk about our faith. "What's this glass bottle of water?" "It's water from the Jordan River where Jesus was baptized." "Where did you get this statue of Jesus and Mary? It looks old." "I found it in a box at a flea market in Turkey and bought it for like $2.00." Often the religious jewelry I wear catches eyes and people will ask about it. It gives me chance to talk about Jesus, Mary, or one of the Saints. I've never had a bad conversation--only opportunities to plant seeds and share the faith in a way that feels unobtrusive. I find, too, that it helps make a connection with other Catholics, just like the waitress. I'm not one to stand on a street corner with a bullhorn shouting about Jesus. I'll probably never hold signs asking people if they are saved. You won't catch me going door-to-door to evangelize. But, I will use sacramentals to my advantage and allow them to naturally draw people in. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Thursday, Catholic Pilgrims. *Church is St. Mary's in Izmir, Turkey
Continue Reading"OKLAHOMA, WHERE THE WIND COMES SWEEPIN' DOWN THE PLAIN." (sang in burly man voice) As much as Kansans get bombarded with "Wizard of Oz" jokes, I imagine Oklahomans get bombarded with this song from the musical "Oklahoma." 😅 It's a great musical, btw. Carrying on, though, my wayward sons, today's small town church showcase is St. Anthony of Padua in Okeene, Oklahoma. (Picture sent in by one of you.) Okeene is a tiny little town with a population of 1,040 and it sits northwest of Oklahoma City. This church was built in 1922. It was built to replace the wooden church before it. That one had been damaged in a tornado and the congregation realized that it was time for brick, instead of wood. Hopefully, a tornado wouldn't be able to blow and blow their brick house down. My husband and I stopped in Oklahoma City on our epic road trip last year and I've been bragging about that city ever since. The downtown was clean, interesting, and felt safe and my husband and I had a great time in The Bricks area. We, also, visited the amazing Blessed Stanley Rother Shrine there which is a must-see. A great day trip would be to go see St. Anthony's in Okeene and then head into Oklahoma City to see the Shrine and enjoy an evening downtown on the riverwalk. The outside of this church is lovely and, looking online, the inside is just what we like to see, too. So, if ever you find yourself sweeping across the plains of Oklahoma and have time to stop, go see St. Anthony's in Okeene, Catholic Pilgrims. Have a blessed Tuesday! St. Anthony of Padua Catholic Church
Continue ReadingI heard someone say the other day, "Catholics try to bring people to everything other than Christ first. They try to bring them to the Eucharist, to Mary..." Stop right there. Eucharist = Christ Usually we get dissenters who try to tell us that the Eucharist isn't Christ, but they at least know that we believe that It is Him. This guy was so off the mark that He didn't even realize that we believe the Eucharist is Christ. He thinks that we think we are just bringing people to round wafers. Yes, all day, everyday, I wanna bring people to Christ in the Eucharist. Guilty as charged. Christ did not leave us a mere symbol to help us to symbolically reenact the Last Supper every once in a while. He offers us His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in the perpetual Sacrifice offered every day at every Mass, which "re-presents (makes present) the sacrifice of the Cross." "For His Flesh is true food, and His blood is true drink." John 6:55 It is the single most incredible, most miraculous way to get the Divine Life within you, Catholic Pilgrims. Yes, we want to bring people to Our Lord. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Monday. *Jesus in the monstrance for Adoration at St. Mary of Sorrows in Fairfax, VA
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