.png)
I’ve heard a lot of people recently say that you need to wait to get married after you’ve “lived a little.”
I can’t stand this mindset. And while I don’t think people should rush into marriage just to be married, this idea that your life is on the downward slope once you “settle” into marriage is false.
Marriage shouldn’t be something you do after all the other things are done.
Why do we think we can only “live life” before marriage?
Dustin and I were married at 22. In a way, we have grown up together. Did we have a nest egg and well established careers before we married? No. Had we traveled the world? No.
No, we were poor, young twenty-somethings. We had a 1985 baby blue Buick Century for a car and we lived in a little apartment. We didn’t go out to eat much and we played board games at night after our daughter went to bed.
But, we’ve always seen our lives as one life—together. In 21 years, we’ve experienced more things than I can list off and this is only after 21 years. Marrying wasn’t “settling down;” it was finding the person that I wanted to experience life with—all of it.
Yes, yes, I know, not everyone will find their spouse at a young age. I know that. But, our culture breeds this idea that you shouldn’t even want to marry young because you need time to, well…I’ll say it out loud…be selfish.
Have your own money, your own career, your own time, your own bed, your own stuff, your own flings that mean nothing, your own this, your own that.
After years and years of simply living for yourself, it will be very difficult to integrate in a new person that you are going to have to share life with. And, there is a tendency—not always—to continue to see your lives as separate.
Marriage should not be the last thing on the list of adult things you do. All the things you want to do that matter, can be done with a spouse by your side.
Qualifiers for those that will get offended:
1. I’m not saying everyone should get married at 20 or that your marriage will be perfect if you marry young.
2. I’m not saying everyone who married late is selfish or that they don’t have a good marriage.
Marriage is a beautiful, wonderful sacrament, Catholic Pilgrims. The way you approach it makes all the difference in the world.
Have a blessed Friday.
ITALY PILGRIMAGE
‘Journey with the Saints’
OCTOBER 23-31, 2023
More info:
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Today, in our reading from Matthew, the Trinity is revealed. At the Baptism of Our Lord, the Father speaks of His love for His Son, The Son gives us the Sacrament of Baptism, and the Holy Spirit descends like a dove letting us know that this action is sanctified. It is holy and pleasing to God. This is why we baptize in the Trinitarian formula and every single time we do the Sign of the Cross it is a beautiful reminder of our baptism and the saving grace we received from it. We must continue to cooperate with those graces throughout our life, but it/was our entrance into the family of God. So many things happen at baptism: You become a child of God and an heir to the Kingdom. Original sin is washed away and any actual sins if above the age of reason. Your soul is permanently marked as belonging to God. Your soul is filled with grace--the Divine life. You receive the three theological gifts of Faith, Hope, and Charity. You receive the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit. Jesus didn't need to be baptized, but He was showing us what He wanted us to do--this was the new covenantal ritual, circumcision would not be needed anymore. Baptism is the start of our Christian life with God, Catholic Pilgrims. Through it, we are brought into the life of the Blessed Trinity. Have a beautiful Sunday.
Continue ReadingMy husband and I were talking to our daughter on the phone the other day and as we were talking, my husband told her about all the different Masses we had been to in one week. We went to our first Latin Mass the Sunday after Christmas. Then, we went to a funeral Mass in San Jose. The day after that, we went to a bilingual Mass at Mission San Juan Baptista--my 12th California Mission. And this past Sunday, we were back at our base chapel with all the familiar faces of our friends that we live with on base. It never ceases to amaze me how good it feels to just walk into a Catholic Church and know that I belong. I don't even have to know anybody. It's always nice when I do know people, but, even when I don't, I feel a great sense of belonging. As the Catholic Pilgrim, I've visited literally hundreds of Catholic Churches in the 16 years since I converted. I've been to Masses where the people spoke French, Turkish, Portuguese, Polish, and Spanish. Latin can now be added to the list. I've been to Mass in enormous cathedrals and in small caves. I've attended Mass outside with over a million Catholics and I attend daily Mass on base where sometimes it's just my son and me. In all of these different circumstances, I sense the universality of the Catholic Church. Even when I'm surrounded by people that don't look like me, I feel such a connection because of our Faith and our one shared Feast at the altar--the Eucharist, which is Jesus Christ. What a blessing to be part of this one, big, universal family, Catholic Pilgrims. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Wednesday.
Continue ReadingWe all remember how, after Charlie Kirk's death, attendance at church dramatically increased. People who had been away from church for years went back. Folks that had never been decided to walk through church doors and hopefully find answers. I saw many videos of people documenting their "return to church" experiences. It was good to see. Running to Christ is always the right answer, tragedy or not. But, then right after Christmas, I started seeing videos of Protestant pastors talking about how they were giving their congregation "time off to rest" for the Sunday after Christmas. It just kills me how low of a bar we set for Christians sometimes. Not even three months out from a huge tragedy in our country which spurred Christian revival are pastors giving their congregations time off to rest. Because, we can't be asked to go to church too much, I guess? It also kills me that we literally just celebrated the birth of the greatest gift God ever gave us and four days later people need rest from church. To be fair, many were not pleased with this "get out of church for free" pass. In today's reading from Mark, though, we see a crowd hungry for Jesus. They follow Him around to hear His teachings, they don't even leave when it's time to eat, they are willing to go without food just to be near Him. They realize that this time with Jesus is THE most important thing. This should always be our attitude, Catholic Pilgrims. Going to Mass is such a blessing and an honor. True rest comes from being with God, not staying away from Him. Because as St. Augustine famously said, "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Tuesday. *picture is of Mission San Juan Baptista in CA
Continue Reading.png)
.png)
.png)