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I often see negative comments from people on marriage posts that say something like, “Ugh, being with the same person for life would be so boring.”
I always wanna comment back, “Oh, so then you are boring, as well? Or are you the Dos Equis man?”
In essence, what that person is saying is that they are boring, you are boring, we’re all boring…unless I just met you for a one-night fling. Then, oh man, then you’re not boring!
I recently had to edit something for my husband. It was a paper he had to write explaining his hobbies and interests. With each military move, my husband takes on a hobby that fits with the area we move to. In Florida, he got into fishing. In California, hiking and rock hunting was his thing. In Nevada, it was visiting National Parks and doing triathlons and Spartans. In Turkey, it was learning Turkish culture and history.
As I edited, I was amazed at all my husband’s interests and experiences. Nearly all of them, we’ve done together. Definitely not the open-ocean fishing, though. I get sea sick in a heart beat.
We’ve gone from poor college kids where a cheap picnic in the park was fun, to touring ruins in Turkey together.
We have children that bring us joy and we get to see them grow. We’ve experienced sorrows and hardships. We’ve both grown immensely in our faith. We both have quirks that drive the other nuts. We are each other’s best friend.
There is nothing boring about learning a person more deeply and truly. In fact, the longer you are together, the better it gets as people tend to get more interesting with age.
Only knowing a person at the surface level? Now that’s boring. Or, if you are a person who refuses to grow up and seek only to think about your own selfish wants, well, you’ll be pretty boring.
People who truly commit themselves to their spouse and seek to live out marriage as it’s intended, rarely if ever think their spouse or marriage is boring.
Live the Sacrament of Marriage well, Catholic Pilgrims.
Today is the birthday of St. Frances Cabrini, the featured saint for Season Five of my podcast, "Journeying with the Saints." If you want to get to know a person read their words. This lets you into their mind--what they think about, dream about, fear, and love. Saints can seem distant, untouchable, and unknowable when all we do is see statues of them or hear about their feast day. Once we read their words, they become so much more real to us. I knew of Mother Cabrini, but I didn't know her very well before reading her letters. I was always impressed with hearing how much she had accomplished in her life as a missionary, but I didn't really understand how she went about doing so much. I knew she relied on God, but what that looked like for her, I didn't really get. We are almost at the end of Season Five and reading Mother Cabrini's letters has been so enriching for me. When I saw this stained-glass window at the Mother Cabrini Shrine in Golden, CO, I told my son, "This is just how I imagined her on the steamers writing to her Daughters." Since getting to know her, I talk about her to people all the time. I tell her story, give interesting details about her, share the magnitude of her missionary work, and describe how close she was to God. I have realized that when I'm talking about her, it's like sharing the story of a friend that I love very much. And that's the truth of the matter, I have come to love her and see her as friend now. So, happy birthday to St. Frances Cabrini, the first canonized American saint. St. Frances Cabrini, pray for us!
Continue ReadingMost of us aren't ever going to come across someone out in public who is literally battered, bruised, and left for dead. It's not impossible that we would stumble upon such a situation, but the chances are more likely that we will come in contact with someone that is spiritually or emotionally battered. Way back at the start of my husband's career in the Air Force, I took a summer job at base legal. I was a front office helper with very little work to do. Most days, I was bored out of my mind. There was too little work for too many people. This suited my immediate boss just fine. She was content to do nothing and even got annoyed when people came to receive services. Consequently, I spent much of my time at work trying to find anything to do. My time there was not long after 9/11 and a lot of people on base were deploying people. One day, the phone rang and I answered, "Base legal, this is Amy." The guy on the other end was crying and said, "Ma'am, I just came home from deployment and my wife took my kids, took everything in my house, and cleaned out my bank account. I have nothing. I'm just calling to see what my legal options are." I wasn't able to pass him off to a JAG officer right at that time, but I chose to stay on the phone with him and listen to him. I knew the truth of the matter was that base legal could help very little. He needed an outside attorney. But, I decided to offer my ear. After a good while of listening, I was able to pass him over to an attorney and our phone call ended. My immediate boss started scolding me by saying, "We are not a counseling agency. You can't be holding up the lines talking to people we can't help." I responded back, "Look, I am not about to hang up the phone on someone in that situation. I didn't counsel him, I offered my time and attention." Today's reading from the Gospel of Luke is about the Good Samaritan, a story we are all familiar with. Like I said in the beginning, most of us won't come across people on the side of the road left to die, but we will come across people that need our time, attention, and love. Have a blessed Sunday, Catholic Pilgrims. *Altar is from Mission San Gabriel in Los Angeles, CA
Continue ReadingYesterday, my oldest daughter and I were FaceTiming with my sister. At one point in the conversation, we got around to talking about an old boyfriend of my sister's that she dated like 20 years ago. Needless to say, he wasn't the best guy to her. My sister said, "Did I tell you guys that he wrote me a letter awhile back?" My daughter and I were shocked. "What?! No, you didn't tell us. What did he say?" My sister had a screen shot of it and she started searching for it to read it to us. While we were waiting, I was joking about him. In my mind, I assumed the letter was going to be some sappy I-want-you-back letter. I thought, "Oh, boy, can't wait to hear this pathetic letter. Of course, he's been obsessed with her all this time." My sister found it and she read it to us. After each sentence, I kept waiting for him to beg and plead for her back. But..he didn't. In fact, the letter was an apology letter. He apologized to my sister, took complete ownership for his bad behavior, and wished her well. That was it. No begging. No desperation. No strings attached. It was simply him trying to make amends. I was stunned. And then I felt two things: 1. Shame over how quick I was to assume that the letter was just going to be some pathetic attempt at getting my sister back after all these years and 2. A deep sadness that I have never received such a letter from my two boyfriends that treated me so terribly. Very quickly, though, I changed my heart and mind. I needed to be glad that my sister's ex had changed as a man and tried to make peace. We should be grateful when people have a true conversion and owe up to their sins. I needed to be thankful that he apologized to my sister. As for not receiving apology letters myself, well, I need to be okay with that. Maybe it will happen, but maybe it won't. I need to continue to pray, though, for my two ex-boyfriends regardless. May we always hope and pray that people find a way to confession, redemption, and, if possible, reconciliation, Catholic Pilgrims.
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