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Last night, I was explaining to my son that Advent is a time of expectant waiting. While we aren’t really waiting for Jesus’ first coming anymore, we do prepare to celebrate His birth. We, also, need to open our hearts for Him to come into them. How do we go about doing that? One way is to relinquish control. Yesterday, someone commented that they know God has forgiven them, but they struggle to forgive themselves. Many expressed that they could relate to this. I could relate to this as I once struggled with the same thing. To forgive myself meant, in my mind, that I was condoning my sinful actions. Forgiveness always feels a bit like that to us humans. It’s why we struggle to forgive others. We don’t want them thinking we are okay with what they did. In our pride, masked as humility, we withhold forgiving ourselves as if to attempt to outdo God in justice. “God can forgive me, but I won’t forgive myself because what I did was just so bad. Look, I’ll continue to punish myself. Look how just I am.” This is pride talking. We are not more just than God. Imagine if your child did something wrong and hurt you. After some time, they come and ask for forgiveness and you give it. Then, sadly, they continue to beat themselves up over it. As a parent, this would deeply sadden you and worry you as you watch your child continue to punish themselves. As a parent, you wouldn’t want this and neither does God want it for you. This Advent, if you struggle to forgive yourself, offer that control over to God. If He has forgiven you and you are contrite about it, let go of your pride and stop trying to outdo Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross. He opened the door to forgiveness and flourishing, don’t undermine that. Pray for the graces to give up the control, Catholic Pilgrims. God does not want you stuck. He wants you to be transformed with His light and love. It’s okay to forgive yourself. Have a blessed Monday.
Continue ReadingA few weeks ago, I was in Berkeley and during the homily, the priest said that when he used to teach at a Catholic high school, he’d ask his students if they wanted to be saints. The overwhelming majority said, “No.” When the priest pressed as to why, they said they didn’t believe they could truly be themselves if they were saints. Isn’t that interesting and devastatingly sad? What an incredible job Satan and the world has done in convincing us that holiness is boring, lame, and strips us of our true selves. Holiness is the exact opposite, though. It helps us to transform into who God truly meant us to be. Why is it that we think a life of sin is better? Why do we think this and then at the same time try to think ourselves better than “big-time” sinners? Nobody is inspired by a life that was/is steeped in sin. We are inspired by saints, even if we won’t admit it. The truth of the matter all comes down to trust and faith. I know, because I used to think like those high school teens. Too many people don’t trust that a life of holiness will be fulfilling and too many people lack faith that Heaven is better than any pleasure we experience here on earth. We are not impressive when we sin. Sinning is easy and asks nothing of us other than to give in. Striving for holiness is not easy. It asks a lot of us, which isn’t a bad thing. St. Paul encourages the Thessalonians, and ultimately us, to “be blameless in holiness before Our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all His holy ones.” You were made to be a saint. We were all born to be saints. There is nothing boring, lame, or stifling about striving for holiness, Catholic Pilgrims, no matter what the world tells you. Have a beautiful first Sunday of Advent.
Continue ReadingWhen I was about four-years old, my parents and I left Manhattan, Kansas to head to my grandparent’s house in southeast Kansas for Christmas, I think. It was either Thanksgiving or Christmas. Anyway, it had snowed and the roads were super slick and traffic was bad. Not far out of town, we were creeping along in a slow line when our car was rear-ended. It wasn’t a bad accident, but my dad stopped the car and got out to go exchange insurance information. When my dad got back in the car, he said, “The weather is too bad. We are going to go home and wait to see if it clears up.” I about died. Go home?!?! I had cousins waiting on me! Go home?! I figured this was the worst form of torture imaginable. I felt like I was going to miss out on everything. I hated waiting. We went home. My dad had us all take a nap—a nap! But, when we woke up a few hours later, the skies had cleared, the snow had melted, and the temperature had risen. My dad declared it was safe now. We got in the car and the holiday was saved. Advent is soon coming and the Church asks us to lean into this time of expectant waiting. The Church kinda feels like my dad on the snowy day many years ago. “Amy, it’s not time yet. We need to wait.” It’s impossible not to get swept up in the tide of all that goes on during this time of year. You’d literally have to go up into the mountains and shut off your phone during Advent to truly have a peaceful time of expectant waiting. But, the Church, in her wisdom, asks us to wait because the time isn’t quite right yet. This isn’t a post to fight about decorations or when it’s right or wrong to put them up. It’s not a post to say that, as Catholics, we should grumble around declaring that the Christmas Season doesn’t actually start until Christ’s birth. This is a post to say, carve out some time this Advent to prepare your heart and mind for the coming of our Infant Savior. It’s hard to do, I know, but there is much to be gained in the waiting, Catholic Pilgrims. Have a blessed Monday.
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