All Daily Reflections

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There was a time in my life where I was "lost" from God. I wasn't really lost, God knew where I was, but I wasn't among the fold. I sat this morning and thought about why I was lost for all those years. My conclusion, it was all my own doing. I was mad at God for not protecting me from an abusive boyfriend and his friends. The only logical thing to do, in my mind, was to sever ties. Crazy thing was, God let me go. Not because He wanted me to leave, but I think He knew that I needed to go be lost for awhile. I needed to see the consequences of removing myself Him. The ramifications of the decisions we make are sometimes the best teachers. So, I started out on my own, sure I could fix myself and all my pain without God. I didn't have a solid plan to fix the pain, but I was smart enough to figure it out for myself, I thought. For years, I just wandered around lost. Wounds in my soul festered and cut open pretty continually. I tried taping them shut with pleasures of the world and that held for a time. Kinda of like how a bandaid holds for half a day until it gets wet and then it's worthless. Anger, hatred, and self-loathing were the central emotions of my life. They were such a heavy burden. Until finally, nearly 14 years after my decision to make myself lost, Jesus finally broke through and said, "Are you ready to be done with this?" And I was ready. More than ready. Desperate actually. I had finally realized that being lost from God was not the answer. The crazy thing was, was that all I had to do was just turn around and there was Christ, waiting for me. There He was all along and I just had to say, "Okay, I'm tired of being lost." I will never ever forget my first confession. The heaving sobs and the flood of tears was the physical response of being found, or allowing myself to be found by Jesus. Relief has a funny way of showing itself sometimes. I was a hard-headed piece of work for most of my life. In many ways, I still am. That is probably why God knew I needed to be lost for a time so that I could see that my way was not the way. From all that, I learned with utter certainty, that I never want to be lost again, Catholic Pilgrims. Thank God, though, if for some reason I do, I just have to turn around and Christ is right there. Not only will He always come for us in this life, He will never leave us. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Thursday.

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I love my country. I love my family. I adore and worship God and love Him. Last night was a good night. Remember, we are still called to be Saints, Catholic Pilgrims. Trump needs our help to restore excellence, sanity, security, and integrity to our great country. So, go out and live the Faith boldly and travel well.

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On Saturday, my family visited St. Dominic’s in San Francisco. Sometimes we don’t even realize how thirsty we are for such beauty until we see it and it’s like our deprived soul comes back to life. It’s a foretaste of Heaven. “I have let my peace be disturbed by outside influences…too many things still upset this more exterior part of my soul and make it suffer. Worries, sad memories, an atmosphere of unbelief, indifference, or scorn…all this has battered me and knocked me to the ground, bruised like the gentle Savior.” —Servant of God Elisabeth Lesuer I don’t know what is going to happen today. I hate election season because it is a heavy weight that bears down nearly suffocating us. The hardest weight to bear is the loss of control we feel over it all. At Mass on Saturday, the priest said that he used to ask his students in high school if they wanted to be saints. And they all said no. They thought that being a saint would stifle who they really were and keep them from being their true selves. What a lie. This is the one thing we can control—whether we strive to be saints or not. Because to strive for sainthood doesn’t require perfect external conditions. Many saints worked and moved in terrible times. They didn’t need everything to feel good or be comfortable for them to bring the light of Christ into a dark world. In fact, many of them sought out the darkness in order to bring the light of Christ. Did they make a dent? To those they served, I think they did. We often wait with bated breath for someone else to fix all the problems, when really we just need to open ourselves up to allow God to work through us. No matter who gets elected today, the world will still need us to strive to be saints. It is our duty, Catholic Pilgrims, no matter who is in office, to bring truth, goodness, and beauty to a fallen world. Even if many in the world don’t realize how desperate they are for those things. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Tuesday. St. Michael, pray for us!

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Yesterday, my oldest and my husband ran the Golden Gate Bridge Half Marathon in San Francisco. It couldn’t have been a more beautiful day. As I was standing at the start line, watching the waves of runners go, a much older man came up to me and said, “I have a odd favor to ask of you.” I smiled hesitantly and said, “Okay.” “I didn’t realize that they would have us start in waves. Would you call my wife and let her know so that she doesn’t worry? She’s getting ready to come over soon. If I start fifteen minutes later than she thought I would, she will worry that I’m injured and I don’t want her to worry.” “Yes, I can call her and let her know,” I smiled back. So, he gave me her name and number and off he went. I called his wife and explained everything. She thanked me for letting her know. Later, as his wave of runners went by, he spotted me and yelled with a thumbs up, “Did you get her?!” I yelled back with a thumbs up, “Yes, she knows! It’s all good!” And off he went. It was a small interaction but as I thought about it and this husband’s request, he was essentially asking me to help him love his wife well. What an honor to be brought in, even if briefly, to that moment. St Paul says the Philippians, “Humbly regard others as more important than yourselves.” Here was this husband getting ready to run a hard race and, yet, his main concern was for his wife. He didn’t want her to worry. That’s how I knew he loved her very much and all it took was a one minute conversation. Have a beautiful and blessed day, Catholic Pilgrims.

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There are so many misunderstandings about what Catholics believe about the Saints. Some think that we think they are gods and goddesses. We don’t. There is only One God. Some are quick to remind us that there is only one mediator between God and man and His name is Jesus. We agree. We just know that the Saints can bring your intentions to Jesus, as well. Same as a friend on earth. Some think that we believe the statues we have are idols we worship, like the literal golden calf. We don’t. The statues are representations of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Some think that by loving and honoring the Saints we are taking from God. If you praised my children, you wouldn’t be taking from me as their parent, you’d be giving me honor by praising them. To add to that, love is not finite, it increases. The more you love, the more love grows in your heart. Some think that relationships with the Saints are unnecessary, all you need is Jesus. That would mean that community with believers on earth is also unnecessary. Christianity is about relationships and community. Some people accuse us of necromancy—conjuring up the dead. Those in Heaven are alive in Christ, even more fully alive than we are here on earth. To add to that, we do not attempt to conjure their spirits nor seek information from them. We ask them to pray for us. Through the many years that I’ve been Catholic now, I can’t imagine not having the Saints involved in my spiritual life. St. Maria Goretti, St. Faustina, St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Francis de Sales, St. Teresa of Avila, Blessed Giorgio Pier Frassti, Venerable Fulton Sheen, and Our Mother Mary have all been such powerful friends to me. They are gifts from God. Their prayers are gifts. Their examples of holiness are gifts. Their friendship is a gift. Today, we celebrate All Saints’ Day, Catholic Pilgrims. We are blessed by this great crowd of witnesses. Have a blessed day and get thee to church!

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Happy All Hallow’s Eve, Catholic Pilgrims. “I see the days grow shorter, I feel the nights grow cold. Young people feelin' restless, old people feelin' old. I sense the darkness clearer, I feel a presence here. A change in the weather, I love this time of year.”

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Yesterday, it was actually chilly here in the desert. It was a little overcast and the wind was blowing cold. So, my son made us some tea and he turned on the fire place. One of my cats was curled up in her little bed by the fire. I turned on “Tis Autumn” by Nat King Cole. It was a perfectly peaceful moment. Nothing can soothe a soul like truth, goodness, and beauty. Our country—our world—feels negatively charged right now. Often, our response to all the bad is to reach into the well of more bad things. We try to soothe by getting worked up, fretting around and living on edge. Instead, our response to the bad should be to reach into the well of the gifts God gives us, which will always be things that are true, good, and beautiful. Those are the things that will sustain us, Catholic Pilgrims. We can’t hide from all bad, but we certainly can’t expect our souls to be healthy when we refuse to nourish it with simple blessings. Have a blessed Wednesday. *Picture is from the National Shrine Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes near Emmitsburg, Maryland.

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What a story, Catholic Pilgrims. This is the true story of Corrie Ten Boom, a Dutch woman, who lived through WWII, which included being arrested for helping hide Jews and eventually being sent to Ravensbruck Concentration Camp in Germany. This book was captivating from the get-go. Corrie really brings you into her family life and does such a good job of helping you to know her loved ones. Her father is a watchmaker and a deeply devout and wise man. Their home, the Beje, is always alive with people. Though they didn’t have a lot, this family shared everything they had. It was so impressive to read about their generous hearts. Once Holland is occupied by the Germans, Corrie and her family join up with the underground resistance and hide Jews in their home. Eventually, they get caught and arrested. Corrie and her sister, Bestie, find themselves after many months in Ravensbruck and the horrors are nearly unbelievable. But, these two women hold on to their faith in God and they bring hope and faith to many other women. My grandfather, who helped to liberate a concentration camp in Germany, once told me through tears, “You cannot imagine what people will do to others.” This book is light and darkness at the same time. You see the worst in humanity, but also the best. The best is what makes this book so captivating. I would highly, highly recommend this book. It’s so encouraging to read about everyday people who lived out their faith extremely well when faced with unparalleled evil. Live the Faith boldly and travel well, Catholic Pilgrims.

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When I was young, on rare occasions, I would attend church with my grandparents in the tiny, Kansas town that they lived in. It was an old wooden church that felt tired and almost like a relic of a bygone era. I’d always be the youngest person in there by, at least, 50 years. The “organ” was basically this keyboard that sounded like a haunted house and the organist pumped out the same old hymns each time I went. There was always the one lady who would belt out songs like she thought she was an opera singer. I remember looking around as a kid and thinking this was all boring and lame. Yesterday, at church we sang an old hymn which is rare. I was immediately transported back to my grandparent’s church on the corner of Maple Street and it made me a bit teary-eyed. Now, through adult eyes, I didn’t feel like the slow song was boring or lame. It’s funny how at the time, you don’t think certain things will leave an impression, but they do. When you get older and those memories come back, you are able to look at them with maturity and appreciation. Maybe the song made me long for a simpler time, at least simpler to me. Or maybe it made me miss my grandparents. Or maybe it made me realize that with the passage of time, our faith is the anchor and our only true calm in the storm. Or maybe all of those things. It truly is Amazing Grace, Catholic Pilgrims, that gives us moments like this and makes us grateful for the foundation we have in Christ. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Monday. *Try to find my husband in this picture. It will give you idea of the enormity of these trees.

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When I was baptized at around 11-years old, I pretty much thought I had hit the pinnacle of the spiritual life. What more was there to do? I believed Jesus was “my Lord and Savior,” I believed “Jesus loves me this I know,” and, yeah, I believed. Now, I hadn’t read through the Bible, I barely had a prayer life, but that didn’t really matter because I believed. Of course I was a naive young girl, but the fact remains that I believed Salvation was a “one and done” thing. I understood differently upon becoming Catholic. At my husband’s Bible Study this past weekend one of the older guys commented on how he sees that the Catholic Church has a plan to move you towards Heaven from conception to death. The Sacraments are that plan, plus all the in between. We enter our spiritual life at baptism. We are strengthened at Confirmation. We need the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist weekly, even better if daily. Confession is there to get our souls back on track. The Sacraments of Marriage and Holy Orders give us graces to live out our vocations. Anointing of the Sick prepares us for possibly healing or death and helps us to bear suffering. Then there is all the in between. Prayers: Liturgy of the Hours, the Rosary, Divine Mercy Chaplet. The Saints Sacramentals Holy Days Feast Days Fasting Days There is just so much to assist us on our journey. As with anything that you start out fresh and full of vigor, there will come a point where you start to limp along. You will need something that affects real and true change and provides real and true graces. Nothing in the spiritual life can be a one and done deal. We need constant renewal and the Church recognizes that. We need help for the journey, Catholic Pilgrims. The Church has a treasury of helps that we can draw from and sometimes obligates us to use because, left to ourselves, we are in danger of slipping away from a relationship with God. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Friday.

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When I was in kindergarten, for the second semester of school, my mom, my brother, and I went to live with my maternal grandparents. My dad had to finish an internship in Wichita and it didn’t make sense to move the whole family there for just a semester. Anyway, each day, I’d ride the bus out to this ghost town (not kidding) to attend school. At the end of everyday, when the bus pulled up in front of my grandparent’s house, I would see my younger cousin riding my bike. Oh, it made me so mad and I’d furiously stomp off the bus and yell at her. My grandmother asked me one day, “Amy, why does it make you so mad that she’s riding the bike? You aren’t even here to use it.” Angrily, I said, “Because it’s mine!” “You are going to be pretty lonely in this life if that’s the way you are going to act. Don’t you think you could share?” Jesus talks a lot about division in today’s Gospel reading and I started thinking about all the ways we bring about division with others. One of the most prominent ways is the insistence on yelling, “Because it’s mine!” My, me, mine. It’s MY body, MY choice. I need ME time. It’s time to get MINE. The insistence on self is one of the greatest causes of division. Instead we should say: This is my body given up for YOU. I want to spend time with YOU. I’d like to share with YOU. This is what we are meant to learn from Christ. He gave His Body for us, so that we might commune with Him as He shares His very self in the Eucharist. Incredible. Our lives are not our own, Catholic Pilgrims. When we cling to “me, myself, and I,” we find that we become very lonely, bitter, and selfish. Better to give ourselves away for love of others. Have a blessed day.

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I woke up this morning thinking of this movie, so I thought I would share it with you all. "The Spitfire Grill" came out in 1996 and it was around that time that my dad and I watched it. We both instantly liked it. It's not flashy, it's not fast-paced, it's just good storytelling. The story centers around a young woman named Percy Talbott. Recently released from prison, she goes to work at a small-town cafe in Gilead, Maine and tries to start her life over. Some people in the town accept her, some don't. You know she has a past that needs to be healed but you don't know from what until much later in the movie. The owner of the cafe, Hannah, is a grumpy old woman who is overly blunt and has a bit of a hard-heart. Her son was traumatized in the Vietnam War and lives as a recluse in the woods, refusing contact with anyone--including his mother. Hannah has wanted to sell the cafe for years, but has been unable to. Percy comes up with the idea to have a $100-essay contest to sell the place. People can send in their essays for 100 dollars and tell why they would like to own the cafe. The reading of the essays as they come in by Hannah, Percy, and Shelby, Hannah's niece-in-law, is an endearing moment in the film. The stand out part of the film when Percy goes up to a hill and sits down and starts to sing "There is a Balm in Gilead." Her brokenness comes out in tears. As she is sitting there crying, Hannah's son comes up behind her and lays his hand on her head. Two broken people finding a way to be of comfort to each other. When I was looking up some information on the film, I wasn't too surprised to find that the "idea for this film was conceived by Malcom Roger Courts, long-time director and CEO of Sacred Heart League, Inc., a Catholic nonprofit fundraising and communications organization base in Walls, Mississippi." Nothing in the film is overly Catholic, but it does have Catholic themes running throughout. If you get a chance, I think you'll enjoy this movie, Catholic Pilgrims. I would suggest it for audiences 13 and up as it does have some mature topics. Have a great day!